Refund My Church Offering

Hello.

I need to speak to uh Sister Felicia Peterson.

Okay, who is this?

That's right, it is Glenn, all right.

This is Glenn.

I didn't this is Brother Glenn.

Can I speak to Sister Felicia Bryant, please?

Okay, sir.

Uh how did you get my number?

I got your number from one of the diggers at the church.

Okay, what deacon was that?

I don't even know the dicker name.

I'm out.

Listen, what I'm trying to ask you, I'm trying to ask you, and you uh reimbursed me with some money that I put in church on Sunday.

Okay, well, can you just calm down just a little, please, sir?

Uh I'm I'm look, are you the financial person at the church?

Yes, I am, so what can I do for you?

I'm trying to get my money back that I put in church on Sunday.

I put a hundred dollars in church on Sunday and I'm trying to get my hundred dollars back.

Okay, what did you not give from your heart?

I gave from my heart what I thought was gonna happen, but it didn't happen.

Okay, um help me help you.

What you mean what didn't happen what didn't happen, sir?

Okay, Pastor wasn't there.

Pastor was not there on Sunday, and y'all had this uh guest per uh minister come in who I I ain't like him at all, but the the the dog on uh the offering was before he even got up to preach.

So I didn't already gave my offering which was a hundred dollars, and then I I didn't even know Pastor wasn't there.

You know what I'm saying?

So here I am giving a hundred dollars and I'm thinking I know I'm gonna get the word when Pastor there.

But y'all put this dude up, he coming from don't nobody come from the book of Ruth no more.

He from he was at Ruth, Leviticus.

He was all over the place.

I I wanna get my hundred dollars back.

I ain't giving to that.

Sir, do you not read the bulletin?

I mean, how often do you even come to church?

I come to church often.

I mean, what what what that got to do with anything?

Well if you would call often and read the bulletin, sir, you would have known that Pastor took a vacation.

It it he took a vacation.

So so everybody knew he wasn't gonna be there?

Yes, sir, the regulars, the people that come regularly to church, they know that, sir.

Okay, well I ain't know that.

So I need I need to get I need to get my money back.

Okay, what I need you to do though is calm down.

Oh I'm I'm calm.

I'm just trying to say I want to get my hundred dollars.

I'm not giving that sermon I got on Sunday, I'm not giving no hundred dollars for that.

Well, sir, I cannot give you the hundred dollars back, okay?

We don't do no refund checks.

I can't do that.

Okay, I have to wait till Pastor get back in because two people have to sign a checks.

I can't even do that for you, sir.

Matter of fact, I'm not even at work right now.

Okay, so how am I gonna get my hundred dollars back?

Okay, sir, why don't you just call the church on tomorrow and then we can go from there, okay?

I'm not calling, I'm not calling the church tomorrow.

I tell you what, you know what?

You know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna come up there tomorrow and you're gonna give me my hundred dollars.

Either it's in a check or it's in cash.

But you, Smith uh uh Sister Felicia Patterson, you're gonna give me my damn money.

Did you say what?

Did you just cuss me?

I just told you that come tomorrow, I'm coming up there to get my damn hundred dollars.

Whether it's in a check or whether it's in cash.

I don't care what it's in.

Let me tell you, Chuck sir.

You ain't getting nothing from us.

I dare you call here and cuss me.

Asking for some money back.

You don't know.

You're giving your money from your heart.

It doesn't matter who out there preaching the word of God.

You give because you love God.

You ever told him you got to get outstriped you naked, Jimmy.

You know what?

You better be glad this ain't 20 years ago because I cussed you from

you.

But somebody saying, because you know what I ain't gonna cuss you.

But I tell you what I will do, young man.

When I see you, what you say your name is again?

What's the name of it?

I'm Brother Glenn.

Brother Glenn, when I see you, I'm gonna give you a butterfellship.

Do you hear me?

Come on, fuck something.

Because that's how you keep God's people.

You have been talking to me ever since I picked up the phone.

You ain't say hi, ma'am.

I ain't doing that.

Can you have a matter?

No, you just start cussing and hollering at me.

You won't talk to people like that.

You don't even sound like a Christian.

Hutch and don't do that.

Do you hear me, right?

Now you want something you catch.

That's what the word said, you have not cussed, you catch not.

You're gonna call here hollering at me.

Do you hear me?

I I I I hear you.

Come call here cussing at me.

Oh, Lord, help me.

Can I Sister Felicia, can I say?

I mean, I just want to say something else to you.

If you don't mind, can I say something?

You can't say nothing to me.

But do you know what you need to do?

Go get you some mammoth.

Yes, ma'am.

But I I but it's one more thing I just wanted to say to you.

Ain't no one more thing.

Ain't no one more thing.

Okay, but I just I just wanted to tell you this, Sister Felicia.

I want to.

Yes, ma'am.

Yes, ma'am.

But I want to say this though.

This is nephew Tommy from the Steve Harvey Morning Show.

Your girlfriend, Sister Doris got me to play phone call you.

Sister Believe.

Oh my God.

I am going to get dark.

Hello?

Steve and that with you.

No, no, ma'am.

No ma'am.

Steve is not here with me.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm gonna need to have a five moment with your cigar.

Yeah, it's got to be private can't nobody hear what I got to share with her.

Yeah, so just be me her in the law.

Sister Felino.

She's over and she say my girlfriend is blessed, highly favored, saved.

And she said, I want you to see if you can push her butt.

I did Sister Lisa, you you you rolled it out.

I'm gonna tell you.

But you let me ask you something though.

Twenty years ago you you you it'd been a little different.

Oh, 20 years ago.

I'd have picked you up and dropped you back down, looked at you and walked off of you after I got through cussing you out.

But that was twenty years ago.

Oh, thank the Lord for deliverance.

Oh Lord, my legs were shaking.

Oh Lord.

I gotta ask you.

What is the baddest, and I mean the baddest radio show in the land.

Oh, I must say the Steve Hardy morning show.