Cotton Picking Job Offer

You you actually came in a couple weeks and filled out some forms.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I did, I did.

You you're you're seeking plummet, correct?

Yes, sir, I am.

Okay, okay.

Well listen, I got a few things here I'd like to go over.

If you don't if you have the time, I'd like to uh get a couple questions from you.

I think I I actually have something I could send you out on a Monday if you actually fit the criteria, okay?

Oh, okay.

Well, hold on one second, let me grab a pen real fast.

Hold on.

Okay.

All right, go ahead.

I'm ready.

All right.

Are you used to physical labor at all?

Yes.

Yes I am.

Okay, so that's not a problem health wise or physical.

You're you're you're able to handle that kind of stuff.

Yes.

Okay.

Uh about how tall are you, William?

Um about five eight.

Five eight, okay.

And um how much do you weigh?

About one fifty.

One fifty, okay.

All right, let's do this.

Now, um, have you done any singing at all?

Uh not not qu I can sing a little bit, not and I'm not a singer singer, but you know, I could I could I could blow a little bit.

But not a not not professionally, but you know, right, right.

But you you're pretty good at at holding a note at least though, right?

Yeah, I can I can hold a note, uh-huh.

Okay.

Not bad.

Not bad at all.

Are you good working out in the heat?

Is that okay?

Yeah, yeah, at this point, man, I'm I'm willing to take anything.

Yeah.

I'm I'm cool with that.

Okay.

How long you've been out of work?

Uh, man, for about a good about a year and a half now.

Okay.

Well man, we're gonna try to fix that for you.

I know uh with the way economy is, you know, I I I know how people can be out of work and not be able to find what they're looking for.

But I I think we've got something up our alley.

Now let me ask you this question, are are you good working barefooted?

Barefooted?

Yeah, without without shoes on at all.

Uh well, I mean, I I the tr I guess if the job requires it, then I mean, yeah, I can do that.

Okay.

Now, we're gonna start Monday morning right at sunrise.

So we're talking about five thirty, six o'clock here.

We're gonna need you uh to report to the field to actually get ready, okay?

What kind of job is this?

I mean Are you uh uh what you're gonna be doing, William, is you're gonna what you're gonna be doing is actually picking cotton.

And we want you to do it barefooted and we we'd like for you to actually sing uh while you're doing it.

Man, you gotta be kidding me, man.

Are you serious?

I'm dead serious.

The job pays uh ten bucks an hour.

You know, we're gonna get you some good hours out there.

I know it's gonna be

wait a minute, man.

Uh I mean with all due respect, man, I mean that I mean, you talking about picking cotton and bare feet and and ten dollars an hour, man.

I don't I'm gonna go.

But you you're gonna be sending don't forget I I I do need you singing.

It's gonna be uh uh do you know any Negro spirituals?

No, I don't.

And I don't I don't I don't think uh

who's this again?

Uh like I said, I'm I'm Daniel R I'm one of the uh employees here.

I work at employment agency.

You know, I pulled up your file and and saw how long you've been out of work and you know, I I've got something that I think you'll be perfect for.

Okay, but what I mean, what is this job really about?

I mean, you talk uh you're talking about picking cotton.

Well, y you know, basically it's kinda like uh you you're getting paid, you know, the ten bucks an hour.

You're probably gonna get about ten hours in a day.

So so you know, you you're gonna make a hundred bucks a day.

It's it's it's a it's it's kinda like slavery, but it's not it's I mean you know whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up, hold up, brother, hold up.

Uh man, I didn't sign on for nothing like this, man.

I mean, I'm I'm thinking you guys are supposed to be helping me with a up to date job.

I mean, slavery don't even exist no more, man.

I mean I mean that's a good thing.

We are going to pay you.

You understand?

But we do want you barefooted.

You are telling me I gotta I gotta sing and walk barefooted picking cotton singing some some slavery songs, but bro, I don't do no like that, man.

I'm I'm voting Tuesday, man.

This this that slavery is up you with, man.

What the hell are you talking about?

I can't believe it.

What what did you say?

Man, I'm I'm thinking you that you guys are gonna be finding me a a job, a job job.

That's not the damn job.

Regardless of of of w uh how you like it, it's a job.

Now, I need you to report five o'clock Monday morning out in the field with no shoes and ready to sing your song and pick up.

Man, I am not reporting no damn where at five o'clock in the morning at no damn field, brother.

I mean, uh I I don't know why why you even call me with this.

Matter of fact, matter of fact, you you know what?

Go ahead and send my dog because I'll go over there and talk to these people in the beginning because y'all need to be reported.

Like I said, five o'clock in the morning report.

You don't have if you you can wear your shoes listen, Buck, Buck, listen to me.

Nah, nah, my name ain't Buck.

And matter of fact, what's your name?

'Cause you know what?

I will be at this tomorrow just to meet your

because this don't make no sense man.

You calling my phone talking about some slavery work, man, you must be out of your mind talking this.

Are you looking for work or are you not looking for work?

No, I'm not looking for that kind of f work, dude.

I mean you calling my phone telling me about some slave work.

That's work though.

You must get mine.

Matter of fact, what what is your name?

What is your name?

You can kiss my ass, okay?

I don't want to go back and forth.

I'm not doing no type like that matter.

Y'all agency can lose all my information.

You gotta get your black I mean, hang on.

You gotta get your butt out there and you're gonna do what you just say get my black well you know what I will be there.

Put my down.

Can I can I say one more thing please what what what the f else you gotta say, man?

You didn't say it a mouthful already.

I gotta say this.

This is nephew Tommy from the Steve Harvey morning show.

Your wife Katrina got me the prank phone call you

what?

The who

you this is nephew Tommy man from the Steve Harvey morning show you this

did some like that man as and she know I'm looking for a job man.

I bet you won't be saying that when the bills come in next month Hey man, I'm five foot eight a hundred and fifty pounds, but uh when I'm ready to get in your

in your

I be and she know that