Husband Calls Wife During Lunch

I want a divorce.

Hello?

Hey, I'm trying to speak to uh I said to speak to Alan.

Yeah, this is Alan.

Who's this?

Hey Alan, yo, this Derek, man.

Check us out, bro.

Uh you you are Rachel's uh Rachel's husband, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, that's my baby.

What's up something wrong?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I work this like I said, this Derek man, I work with your wife Rachel.

Right.

You you so you're a supervisor or something?

I mean you just by work something.

I mean she's doing a good job and everything.

She ain't better kill it.

No, uh no no no everything's straight man.

Ain't nothing wrong with the job.

Everything's cool at the job.

This this right here man is like it what I noticed man, and it's you know, it just seems like every single day, you know, while she's on her lunch break, uh huh, it seems like, you know, you would call and and and uh and then block up the whole hour of her lunch break and actually, you know, just be real man, I'm just trying to come correct with you.

It just seemed like you just cut in on all the time that I have that I have with her.

Well well whoa whoa whoa hold up homie hold up hold up bro wait.

You what the f are you doing at lunch with my lady, son.

No, like I say we you know we just we just spending time you know doing lunchtime but it just seems so rude you know that Rue Rue Rue?

You you okay first of all that's my lady okay I can call her whenever the f I feel like calling her that's I pay for that male I bought that iPhone 5.

I can get called whenever I please all right.

Secondly you ain't got no business being with a married woman alone at lunch.

This ain't no date.

Y'all supposed to be at work.

No no we are at work.

We call we like I say we co workers.

You know it's gonna seem like half the whole time I'm sitting in front of her, you know, we're supposed to be having lunch together and and she's talking to you the whole time.

Uh uh uh what what's your name again, bro?

My name's Derek.

Derek Derek, all right Derek you work at the same building okay you you at work right now, huh?

Yeah, I mean yeah I mean at the job.

I work in the same flow 'cause I couldn't come see you

Straight up.

Okay, so don't let me ask you something, man.

What is the big deal?

Uh I'm just trying to okay.

You act like you don't see her.

You act like you don't see her when she gets home.

You know, so why is it so important that you waste a whole hour of lunchtime holding up?

I ain't waste my I'm talking to my lady.

Okay, you understand that why don't you go out there and get and then you ain't got to worry about sitting up in front of my lady.

That's my wife.

I walk down the aisle with that.

We got kids.

We got a house.

We take care of this.

She helped me hold it down on this.

You, you

ain't you know it's like you

don't ever want to come in and do they got yourself always wanna come in and somebody else's wife and why why why don't you do this?

Take take take this advice and see what it works how it works for you.

Go to the club, church, library, grocery store, whatever the find your fet, and you get you a chick, you date her for a minute, you court her for a minute, you romance her for a minute.

That's what real men do, you know what I'm saying?

That's what I did.

That's how I got my my Rachel.

That's the that's my heart.

You trying to sit up there in front of lunch with her every fing day for the past year?

I tell you what, bro, it may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but soon, soon you're gonna see me.

Me and you're gonna have none of this phone conversation.

This is gonna be a face-to-face.

Hey man, I ain't trying to come between y'all at all.

You know,

okay, like I'm saying, I'm not trying to come between y'all.

I'm just saying it's every day you call in, man.

What do you want?

That's what why is supposed to talk to her every god day?

That's what a real do.

You don't know about that because you a d you ain't no real.

All you know about is trying to holler at some street.

You don't know what it is to put in work like a real man do to actually hold down a home, pay the bills, everything, the family, the kids and fixing the f y'all And fences and you don't know nothing about that.

All you know about is getting a roach.

Wife can't even go to f work without b like you trying to step to her and don't make no gods, but that's okay.

Like I promise you.

I'm gonna be there.

You're gonna see me and I'm gonna see you.

You know, I'll tell you what, this is how this is gonna go.

It may not be tonight, but it's definitely not gonna go past tomorrow.

Between now and then, you gonna see me.

And I'm gonna see you, and I can't.

What'd you what'd you say?

I will come see your f by tomorrow, son.

Me and you, Derek.

That's your name, right?

Derek.

My name is Derek.

Yes.

You gonna always wanna be both smiley facing my wife's face.

I'm gonna deal with Rachel's when I see her.

You can please believe that.

Please believe that talk to her about her little friend at lunch and sh like that.

How get my number anyway, man.

I got your mama out of Rachel phone, but that's besides.

Y'all ain't that cool.

I don't think I I ain't never heard of no Derek's before today, and all of a sudden you calling me talking about you was at lunch every day with my wife and you that dog.

It's a friendly lunch date, is what it is.

You ain't fooling me.

I know like you who prey on married women all the g time because they like you.

But that like I said, it's gonna change.

Promise you.

Okay, dog.

Here's here's what you don't know.

What you don't know is is Tommy, Tommy be pushing up on her more than me.

Who the f Tommy Tommy, what the f what the f Tommy?

Tommy is always pushing up on her.

Tommy the one you need to be worried about.

You left Tommy.

Who's I mean, who the f Tommy any dog, dog, dog, nephew Tommy, man, check this out.

This is Nephew Tommy from the Steve Harvard morning show.

Your wife Rachel got me the prank phone call you.

Ow.

I'm gonna come down and f up for real.

You alright, man?

I am now.

I was gonna ooh, well, you don't know I'm gonna burn that building down.

You don't even know.

Hey, all right, P T me this is my prediction.

Somebody gonna f you up.

For real.

Y'all you just you play too f much, man.

Y'all trippy.

Oh hey, man, take it out.

You gotta tell me this, man.

What is the baddest radio show in the lane?

Only the Steve Harvey morning show, man.

Of course.