Husband Protection Program

We've heard of witness protection programs.

It was in you, old Joy?

But have you ever heard just went great of HPP?

Get your

husband protection program.

It doesn't really exist.

But if it would, it go a little something like this.

No, that looked like a fish creep.

No, no, sir.

No, sir.

You don't fish touch my face.

No, sir.

Good afternoon, this is Morgan.

Hi, Morgan.

Um, my name is Josh Lunette.

I'm with uh HPP, giving you a call.

You are married to uh Mr.

Sean Puller.

Is the mic, right?

Yes.

You you're with who now?

I'm with HPP.

We actually um had to uh pick your husband up from his job today.

And um wanted to give you a call.

Just pick him up, pick him up for what pick him up for what?

Okay, you you are Morgan, you're his wife, Morgan, right?

Correct.

Okay.

Uh actually just wanted to make sure that he's okay and we're we're worried about his work.

Well, nothing's happened as a as of right now.

We we've had a conversation with him and we we we've checked him out.

He's definitely okay.

But why why are you picking him up though?

I don't I don't understand why I don't under I I don't I don't understand.

Hang on a second.

Let me let me I got a couple questions for you.

Your husband.

He is about what?

Five about five nine, correct?

Yes.

Right, and you you would agree that uh Sean weighs uh about a hundred and seventy-five pounds.

Is that sound about right?

That he weighs uh yes.

Okay.

Um what what what here's my another question.

No, exactly, Miss uh Morgan, how how tall are you?

I'm I'm I'm five nine as well.

Okay.

And uh if you don't mind, I know it's a little different type of question, but if you don't mind, how much do you weigh?

I'm like two hundred wa wait a minute.

What is it what is what is how much I weigh have to do with it?

It it it's it's I don't what what is wrong with him and where is why where is he right now?

We we actually have him.

We have him.

In our custody.

You want him where?

We have him in our custody right now here in our headquarters at HPP.

So headquarters?

What heck, what is a what is a HPP?

Ma'am, HPP is husband protection program.

Husband protection?

I've never I've never heard of such a thing.

Why why is he there?

Well, what we what the the problem we have, and we've been getting some actual complaints and whatnot, and not necessarily from him, but that you've been you you, you know, you've been bullying your husband.

Okay, you know what?

I'm at my job, and I'm gonna need you to hold on one second so I can go in here.

What what what did you say?

Have you and uh Sean had any arguments at all lately?

Have we had we're married?

Have we had arguments?

Of course you had arguments.

What's what the what does that have to do with anything?

Have you guys had any have you had any altercations?

Any altercations?

Yes.

What kind of altercations?

Have you been bullying your husband in a physical way?

Have I been bullying him?

Bullying him huh?

What the fuck are you talking about?

Bullying him.

For somebody to turn in and give us somebody who?

Who?

Who?

Who can you think you need to call him on the phone?

If it's him, you need to let me talk to him.

I I can't put him on the piece.

This is what I'm talking about, ma'am.

This is what I'm talking about.

This is what you're talking about.

You call me at my job, calling off the freaking HPP crack, and somebody turned somebody in for some argument.

We're married.

Who do you freaking know who's married and does not argue?

I understand you're mad, but it is my job to protect husbands that are getting bullied by their wives.

This is how you tell me.

He is my husband.

What the?

Okay, let me speak to him.

I'm not I I'm not at liberty to let you speak to him right now.

What you're not gonna do is bully me as well.

And I I see why.

Everybody's trying to bully you.

I want to know what the frick is going on, and why are you calling me at my job with some crap about him being at some headquarters on HP?

I don't even think HP is never heard of HP, and my husband is not even protected from anybody, fucking not me.

It is husband protection program.

You've been bullying your husband, you've been using bad.

Language with her house.

Hello.

I can talk him out of the frick.

I want to talk to him.

He my husband.

When he said I do, he said, I do accept whatever she said to me, whenever she says it, however she says it, and that's what the frick he did.

And if he has a problem with arguing me, he needs to stop his crap, and it won't be no argument.

And you tell him that.

You see, this is what we're talking about.

This is why he's been picked up today and brought into our custody so that he would be definitely protected from you.

You know what?

If he needs some protection and he's in your custody now, you can keep him there.

How about that?

Well, here's what we're gonna do.

Somebody's gonna be picking you up, bringing you in so we can have a conversation with you.

What do you think this is?

We're bringing you in so we can have a conversation with you.

Let me explain something to you, ma'am.

We will be bringing you in, having a conversation with you.

You're gonna be coming in, and you're gonna do exactly what we tell you.

I'm not going anywhere with anybody.

Are you physically or mentally abusing your husband?

You know what?

You don't have to pick me up.

Tell me where you are.

I will come to you.

You have to pick me up.

I will I will come down there.

I will handle you and him at the same time.

You tell me where the frick you are.

This is what we're talking about.

I'm gonna ask you a serious question.

Is it is there some type of consequence if he doesn't listen to you?

Is there a consequence?

I mean, I mean, uh, what are you doing?

Are you treating your husband like a child?

What are you doing to him?

If he has a problem with how I treat him, you talk to him about how the frick he acts.

One more time.

Are you physically or mentally abusing your husband?

I'm handling my business in my house the way I need to.

That's what the frick I'm doing.

If you have a problem with it, then you can keep him behind right where he is.

If he's turning his himself in for this crap, are you kidding me?

All I'm asking you, ma'am, is to answer my question.

Have you physically or mentally abused your husband?

No, I have not.

And I'm not gonna no, I have not touched that man.

He does not touch me.

I have not touched him.

We argue, yes, we're married.

That's what married people do, but we do not physically harm each other.

What are you getting?

Let me let me ask you something, Miss Morgan.

What do you do for a living?

I am head of security at this building, and they about to call security on me because I'm loud in this room back.

So you know all about putting people in choke holes and and how to apprehend a person, don't you?

That is my job.

Yes, I do.

So are you doing that at home?

What?

When I tell you, I'm not going to tell you again.

I don't harm that man in any way.

No way.

Have I ever?

Would I ever?

Nor has he me.

He needs to get his behind in his car and go back to work.

We have bills to pay and don't have time for this crap.

I got one more thing I need to say to you.

Are you listening?

You don't have nothing to say to me but that you're about to put my husband on his phone and let me talk to him about this.

Sean, Sean, sit down.

Sit down, Sean.

No, don't get him, hand him the phone.

Let me talk.

I need to understand what that had.

Sit down, Sean.

I got it.

Let me finish the talk conversation with, okay?

No, you don't need to finish with.

Let me finish with his ass.

Put him on the phone.

Hello.

Uh-huh.

I got one more thing I need to ask you.

Are you listening?

I will put him on the phone as soon as you answer my question.

I have one more thing to ask you.

Are you listening?

Mm-hmm.

Are you listening?

Go ahead.

This is nephew Tommy from the Steve Harvey morning show.

You just got pranked by your husband, Sean.

Ah.

Yes.

Listen.

Uh-uh.

Hello?

Uh-uh.

You

forget you, Mr.

Morgan, you there?

I don't believe this crap.

Where are you?

Where are you at right now, man?

I was worried about the people at your job.

Where are you at?

I'm back here in this closet.

Sweating like a freaking pig in heat.

Dripping makeup everywhere.

I cannot believe this.

Oh, God, man.

Okay, baby, I gotta ask you, what is?

What is the baddest?

I'm talking about the baddest radio show in the land.

The Steve Harvey Morning Show.