Only One Derrick

Your baby got my baby name.

Let's go, Catal.

Hello.

Hello, I'm trying to reach uh Patricia Patricia.

Speaker, who is this?

How you doing?

Listen, um, my name is Floyd.

Floyd.

I wanna give you a call.

Your your daughter, she attends middle school, right?

Okay, what's your name again?

Floyd.

Floyd.

Uhhuh, okay.

What can I do for you?

Uh well, like I said, your your your daughter, she goes she do go to middle school, right?

Yeah.

Okay.

No, her name her name is Derrica.

Why you need to know that?

Okay.

Well Ain't something wrong or something.

No, no, uh no, no, nothing wrong.

I mean don't I don't mean to alarm you or nothing like that, but Let me see.

So what you calling me for?

Well, here's here's the situation.

My daughter actually goes to middle school along along with with your daughter.

Okay.

And

it's it's a bit of a problem that that that has arisen that me and my wife just found out about.

Okay.

What they having some uh issues, Derek and your baby in in in some kind of like trouble or something?

No no no, no, no, nothing like that.

My baby don't fool with nobody at that school.

She don't mess with nobody.

She on the honor roll and everything.

I don't have no problems out of Derek.

Right.

Like none.

Okay.

I wasn't wife calling me.

Let me no, let me tell you, Miss Miss Patricia, what the problem is.

See, my daughter name is Derek.

Okay.

So

and it just blew me and my wife away that it was another Derek that went to school.

Okay.

All right.

I don't know too many Derekus.

That's a unique name.

That's cute, okay.

Right, right.

Well, here's the problem.

Me and my wife actually, you know, when it was time to name our child, we thought we was really picking a name that nobody uh would ever pick out for their daughter.

And to have another Derek in the school, that blew us away.

And I I I guess the real reason why I'm trying to call you, Miss Patricia, see if if uh if there's something maybe we can work out, you know, maybe uh like your Derek, does she have a minute middle name or nickname she can be called by opposed to both of them being Derek, you know?

We really wanted our child to be the only one with this name.

Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, the f now you calling me and you asking me to change my baby's name.

Well, I mean you you you ain't really gotta legally change, I mean, but just start calling us something else, you know.

No, no, wait a minute.

Say what you the naming police or something?

Do you know how many g and's and Lewis's and Patricia's out there?

What if I asked everybody in in the United States to change their name from Patricia?

You know how crazy that is?

And I understand that.

You must be on drugs.

No, what I'm trying Trying to say is, you know, this this is something that we really have for our baby girl with this name, and we didn't want nobody else to have this.

So I does your Derek have a middle name she can use?

Uh uh no.

We're gonna call her Dereka, like we've been calling.

You name your baby Didi.

Let's call your baby D D.

You change y'all, y'all change your baby name at the school.

I'm not calling, I'm not calling my baby no D.

I don't give a f what you call it, but I'm not changing my baby name.

Hey, listen, okay, look.

Uh I'm trying to call you and handle this like adults, you know, but you seem to see you're gonna push my button and take me to another level.

Obviously, you ain't calling me trying to handle no sh and doesn't ask me to change my baby name.

Call my baby something else at the school, because y'all want y'all baby name to be Derek and the only Derek in the school.

Hey, you know how many other kids at the school got the same name?

I understand that.

But for my baby girl, it ain't supposed to be like that.

Huh?

Well, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for your baby girl and your wife.

But, you know, I'm not changing my baby d name.

Y'all call y'all baby D.

No, what I'm trying to do is get it rectified that we can call.

So, why in the f you get my phone number?

I know that g school ain't giving you my number.

I I got your number.

Don't worry about how I got it.

The problem is, but what we're talking about right now is can we what can we start calling your child?

I don't give a sh.

I know that school ain't called you and give you my number.

Listen, ma'am, all I'm trying to do is figure out what can we start calling your daughter.

Uh, Derek, like she's been being called.

You and your wife, y'all need to go down to the title statistics office and get y'all baby name, a conjugate, some other kind of g name for her.

But my baby gonna keep the same f name.

Let me explain something to you.

I've been trying to be calm with you.

You didn't lost your name.

If you wanna find something else to call about me, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna get all the other kids.

How do you get my d number?

Don't worry about how I got the number.

Listen to what I'm trying to tell you.

If you don't find another name, I'm gonna start getting the kids to call your daughter something else.

You get them to call my baby something else.

I promise I'm whipping everybody's who called my baby something You're gonna have to change your baby name.

I want my baby the name to be Derek.

Joe!

Joe!

Come up in here.

This is a good thing.

Excuse me.

My princess is supposed to be the only one named Derrick.

How did you call your baby something else at the school?

I'm gonna have these kids starting tomorrow at school calling your daughter something else.

I'm not standing on this phone with you like this no more.

Hang up off my phone and don't call my friends.

Let me tell you something.

I got one more thing I need to say to you.

You listen to me?

What?

Are you listening to me?

I'm listening to you, what?

This is nephew Tommy from the Steve Harvey Morning Show.

You just got pranked by your girlfriend.

I'm gonna get her.

Oh, that's better.

Oh, y'all my favorite person.

I'm so sorry.

So bad.

You alright, baby?

Yes, okay.

I'm gonna get her.

Your girlfriend.

That is so oh, I am so sorry.

Ooh, but you got my nerves bad this morning.

Lord have mercy.

Lord, I gotta catch my breath.

I got one more thing I gotta ask you, darling.

What is?

What is the baddest?

I'm talking about the baddest radio show in the land.

Steve Harvey Morning Show.

I listen to y'all.