Valerie's Bed Bug Affair

Hello?

Speed the Gene.

Yeah, what's up?

Who does?

My name's Vernon, brother.

What's playing?

What's going on?

Need to holler at you for a minute, my man.

About what?

I want to holler at you about your wife.

So you got a minute?

Yeah, I'm listening.

Uh I don't even know how to break this to you, dog.

I just want to be straight up with you, man.

Me and your wife been kind of seeing each other.

And uh

really, she wanna let you go, but she ain't, you know, she really ain't got it, got it up in her to say she wanna let you go.

So I'm coming to you like a man and letting you know, you know that uh she really wanted to shut it down with you.

We've been seeing each other for a minute now.

Uh-huh.

So I don't know how we can, you know.

I'm just coming at you like a man, brother, trying to let you know she don't even really want you no more.

You know we done talked about it, talked about it, and uh I'm just trying to get it all out.

I'm tired.

I'm tired of hiding with it, really.

Okay.

Okay.

Well, you know, it's a lot smoother than I expected, player.

I mean, it is what it is.

It is what it is.

I mean, long as long as you long as you cool, I I thought you know.

I just want to be a man call and holler at you and let you know.

Have you seen her today?

And where you from?

From Jersey.

I'm up around Newark.

I mean, you said it's a lot smoother than you thought it was gonna be.

Well, you know.

Anytime some another man finna call another man by his wife, I mean, yeah, you don't expect it to be nothing, you know, pretty simple.

That's for sure.

I didn't contemplate it a long time by calling you, so I, you know, today I just said to hell with it.

I've been here at your number.

I had your number a long time.

All right, now you say you looking uh it's a lot smoother than you thought it was gonna be.

It ain't that smooth, but you know.

Okay, well, wait wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Hold up now.

Good.

You feel like no need to hold up.

Okay, you feel like you need to be looking for me or something?

Yeah.

Brother, look at it.

Let's check this out.

This is a decision that the wife has made.

You understand what I'm saying?

See, you have no reason to be mad at me about anything.

You have no reason to be coming looking for me or any information on me.

Because see, when that happens, then it's gonna really get stanky up in here.

And I'm trying not to let that happen.

That's why I'm calling you like a man, brother.

Trust me, man.

Ain't nothing that I'm never worried about.

Okay.

Well, I'm just letting you know, man.

I'm letting you know up front, she we me and her contemplated a long time.

Yada yada.

So now you know here we are.

So I say, you know what the hell with it?

I'm calling today.

Well, y'all should have did it on the phone together.

I'd have respected both of y'all a lot more.

Okay, well, you know, and and then you know, if if that's what it's got to be, we be face to face together.

Whatever it's gotta be, man.

So that's what I prefer.

You know.

Okay.

So, but but let me ask you this here.

Where's going in?

Once we both stand flat footed and tell you how it is, then what?

I ain't I ain't gonna never be flat footed.

Okay, well, well flat footed or upside down, anyway you want to look at it, bruh.

I'm trying not to get into this physical part, but it seemed like you leaning that way with me.

It could be whatever, no.

You could be on this side of the dirt or the other side.

It don't make a difference.

It never does, brother.

It never does.

When two bulls come together, one of them got to go down.

Now, guess what?

We are doing too much talking.

You got my information.

Guess what?

Now I'm blocked loaded and hunting for you.

You lock and load it?

Well, there's no need for you to say there's no need for us to discuss anymore.

Okay, cool.

You know, mind why while we at it, man, let me go and drop it all on you then.

Cause it's it seemed like we need to go and get it all out the way.

You cool?

You know what I'm saying?

I think you need, you know, matter of fact, if you want to just keep it all the way real, you might want to go take a blood test about Alana and make sure you the pop her to that.

All right.

Feel me?

Got it.

So uh I'm gonna have your wife give you a call, man, because we didn't contemplate it at all.

Too long and it's time.

Yeah, you do that.

You know my information.

Like I said, you you said enough, you hit enough bones there.

Now I'm really a lot lower than hundred for somebody.

So you know what?

I mean somebody got to go.

What you mean?

Well, wait, wait, wait.

What was all this?

Somebody got to go.

Huh?

What you saying?

Somebody got to go.

Okay, you're talking about either me or you, one of us got to go.

See, see, because you're saying the wrong thing, because what you must understand is if I've given you as much information as I already have, that means I have enough information to know where you are, brother.

You know nothing about me nor where I reside.

So if you're gonna talk about locking load and somebody got to go, then you're saying it to the wrong person, because I'm already up on you, player.

First off, you ain't really a no because you got a country accent.

So second off, like you're dealing with the real street.

So however you want to handle it, you know my information.

Guess what?

I don't reside there no more.

I ain't been no more.

Guess what?

Now you gotta start from scratch like me.

So

here go the math, man.

You ready for that?

You ready for this math?

You ready, player?

Here go the math.

This nephew Tommy from the Steve Harvey Morning show.

You've been pranked by your wife.

I'm a killer.

Yeah, black man, chill out, but you you you kind of had me scared for a minute, cause you really wasn't flinching.

You whatever you eating over there, you never did stop eating on it.