Mowed the Wrong Yard

One thing about black people, if you give them something that you weren't intentionally going to give them, that don't mean nothing to them.

That means you gave it to them.

That means you made a mistake.

They just happened to get something for free.

I call this right here, y'all cut the wrong yard.

This one right here, he ain't having.

He ain't had it.

None of it.

Hello?

Hello, hi.

My name is George.

I'm with Donald Earth and Services.

Uh, we came out and gave you a cut your yard yesterday.

And uh, we're trying to make sure that uh you liked everything thoroughly.

The we cut the front, the back.

We also did your hedges, put some mulch in the flyer beds, the weed eating weed eating in the whole nine yards.

And we also left a um an invoice on your doorstep.

Wanna make sure you got that as well.

Y'all the motherfucker that cut my yard.

Man, I went all around, man.

It looked damn good, but I was trying to figure out who the hell cut it.

What, sir?

Yeah, we cut it as of yesterday.

You were actually on our schedule, and um we did everything thoroughly.

We I'm actually just calling as a follow-up.

Uh hell I get on this schedule.

Sir, are you Mr.

Malone at no war?

You're you speak from Zimmerman?

Hell no, man.

I'm Wiggins from here.

Man, you cut the wrong house.

That's niggas dope, man.

So I guess you need to put your invoice on their dough, partner.

Sir, sir, you're not Mr.

Malone at no war.

You're you speak from Zimmerman?

Say, man, I just told your ass I'm you're glory and I'm Mr.

Wiggers.

You done cut the wrong motherfucking yard.

Y'all need to go to Mr.

Malone House and get your goddamn money.

I ain't cut you ain't cut shit here.

You ain't cut shit here, partner.

You got the wrong goddamn house.

No, sir.

No, y'all motherfuckers ain't coming over here trying to collect no goddamn money.

Well, sir, hold on just a second here.

You're saying we didn't.

Oh my ass, nigga.

You done cut the wrong goddamn yard.

Sir.

I ain't no no goddamn schedule.

I ain't tell you motherfuckers come over here and cut shit, and you go over there and talk the goddamn Malone, get your goddamn money.

You can't ain't gonna.

So there's no way we can charge Mr.

Malone if we haven't cut his yard.

Now let's let's just say.

Sir, I'm there right now.

You ain't getting shit at this goddamn house.

Sir done fucked up and cut the wrong goddamn yard, and you go cut the right yard and get right motherfucking that invoice.

You ain't got shit here.

You ain't getting goddamn thing at this house.

Fuck that.

You ain't cut shit here.

Okay, sir, sir.

Can I say this?

Now I didn't call no goddamn body to come cut shit over here.

You go to that motherfucker house and cut his shit right and get him the goddamn invoice.

You ain't get shit here, Partner.

I understand that, sir.

Listen, what I want to say is uh uh we'll we'll go over and we'll take care of Mr.

Malone's yard.

I understand that we've made a mistake.

But I understand I understood you say that you did like the services, so wouldn't it be even right for you to actually go ahead and send the invoice in along with the check since you did like the services?

Well, evidently it seemed like your motherfucking ass is retarded, because then I just tell you, goddammit, you cut the wrong goddamn yard, you go over there and cut the right yard and get your goddamn money.

You ain't Got nothing but practice here and shit.

I understand that we cut the wrong yard, sir.

I understand that.

But you got the services and you like the services.

I don't want to have to come out there and get the money from you.

Well, come on if you're coming, goddammit.

Come on if you're coming.

Come on if you're coming.

I got something for your ass.

Come on over here and get your goddamn money.

But you said you like

I wouldn't give a goddamn if I said the moon was green, goddammit.

You cut the wrong yard, you go get your goddamn money from the right motherfucker.

You ain't getting shit here.

Come on if you're coming, goddamn it.

Sir, I got something for your ass.

You come on over here, goddamn.

So bring your ass over here, goddamn it, you see what you get.

Sir, I can't.

Y'all done fucked up and cut the wrong goddamn yard, and you motherfuckers trying to get my goddamn money.

You ain't getting shit here, goddammit.

Now you you get your shit right, you go get your goddamn money from the right motherfucker.

You either write in that dough, go cut that motherfucker and leave that paper over there.

You goddamn, you got fucked up here.

You got me out for this wiggle.

I'm coming over there.

You want me to start some shit?

God damn it, I'll start some shit, but you motherfuckers ain't gonna come right here and do no goddamn shit and be charging me no motherfucking money now.

Come on, come on if you come, goddammit.

I'll put something on your ass, goddammit.

Yeah, I got more heat than hell, motherfucker.

Come on, goddammit.

Get your goddamn money.

If you don't want it, come get it, guys.

I I you got your yard cut and we deserve to get our money back.

You better get your goddamn ass whoop you come around here trying to get some goddamn money.

Now I told you you don't cut the goddamn wrong yard now you got.

And I'm gonna tell you, don't make me whoop your ass behind this yard.

I'll whoop your motherfuckers.

I'll whoop your ass down.

Bring your ass on, goddamn.

I will whoop your ass.

I will whoop your behind in the front yard that just got cut.

You bring your goddamn mamma and your motherfucking pamph, and you come trying to get this goddamn money, I'm gonna put some shit on all you motherfuckers.

Bringing all your goddamn tools, motherfuckers.

Come on right now, goddammit.

Come on, goddamn.

What what you gonna be in when you get here, goddamn?

Don't you I take I got one more thing to tell you if you listening?

I don't want to hear shit, goddammit now.

You motherfuckers goddamn Come stand up some shit now.

You cut the wrong goddamn yard.

I've got one more thing to tell you is you listening, Mr.

Wiggins.

I'm listening, goddamn it.

Look, this is nephew Tommy from the Steve Harvin morning show.

You just got pranked.

Hello?

Motherfucker, what?

I know gooddamn well.

Look here.

Your boy Gary was so just pranked you, man.

Oh shit.

Hey.

We laughing now, but I'm gonna whoop Gary ass.

Hey, y'all done ran up my blood pressure with this shit, man.

Hey, let me ask you something, man.

Did they cut your yard?

They cut the wrong yard.

Hell yeah, man.

I shit.

I walked all around the whole goddamn house.

Woo, man.

Y'all ran my blood.

Woo!

Y'all about to get wigged started, shit.

We can go bad as some bitch down in Dallas.

All right, man.

Let me hey, Mr.

Wigg.

I'm filling for the trap.

Let me ask you something though, man.

What is the baddest radio show in the land?

Man, it's the Steve Harvin Morning show.

You alright, man?

I'm all right, Doc.

I'm all right.