Naked lifeguard job

Right now, the nephew is here with today's prank phone call.

What you got for us, Nat?

It's time to hit the pool.

Summertime is coming.

It's here, basically.

Title is Naked Life Guard.

Oh.

Naked.

What?

Life Guard.

Don't, don't, don't.

Don't let this bother.

You can know I ain't the only one on this show to swam next.

I know I ain't the only

make a lifeguard.

Hello.

Hello, I'm trying to reach a uh uh Carrie T.

Yes, this is Carrie T Hi Carrie.

My name is Oliver, Oliver W.

You uh put in an application with uh with the employment agency about looking for some work as far as being a lifeguard.

Oh yeah, I did.

Okay.

Have you had much experience being a lifeguard?

Yeah, I've been doing this for a while now, back since I was like eighteen.

I got my CPR certification.

I've had as many as like two hundred people at one time watching 'em, so I'm good.

I'm good at what I do.

I love it.

Very good.

Very good.

Well, I'll tell you what, I I've looked over your application and uh I've checked everything out thoroughly, and I'm very excited about maybe getting you to I don't know if you're familiar with it, but a public pool.

It's actually in uh subdivision.

There's two pools there.

Are you familiar with it?

Yeah, yeah, I'm familiar with it.

They're they're near where I live.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, there's actually in the back of there's a gated community, and um that is actually the particular property that I'm talking about.

You coming out and uh working for us there, uh at the pool site.

Uh if we can get you on Monday to Friday, we're gonna actually hire some uh some more college students for for Saturday and Sunday.

What do you say?

Oh, I say okay.

That sounds great.

Monday through Friday, weekends off, yeah.

Yeah, exactly.

Now we start off, job actually pays twenty five dollars an hour.

Wow.

You would be our head lifeguard, and um we would we would want you to be there from you know, I mean, if you start at twelve, we'd actually like for you to get there around eleven thirty.

You know, just to be prepared and um be the overseer and make sure the other lifeguards get there on time.

And you know, we'll go from there.

Okay.

Carrie, there's only one catch that that actually comes along with this job.

We want you to work an additional uh four hours from six to ten at night, but it's gonna pay you fifty dollars per hour.

So you'll make an extra two hundred dollars.

How do you feel about that?

Man, I feel good.

I mean, with the recession and everything, I can use that money right now, especially during the summertime.

Okay, now here's the deal.

This is in a gated community, like I told you before, but also uh it's gonna be adults at night and it and they are actually gonna be swimming nude.

What?

Yeah, they're gonna be swimming nude and what they ask is if they're gonna be swimming nude, they wanna make sure that the lifeguard that's protecting them is gonna be nude as well.

Okay, I'm a certified lifeguard, I'm CPR certified, I'm a student.

I've had other jobs, but nudity wasn't on my resume.

Uh and I and and I I I understand that wholeheartedly, but we're talking about you possibly making seventeen hundred and fifty dollars a week.

How do you feel about seventeen hundred and fifty a week for your nursing school?

I'm sure that'll that'll definitely pay for it uh throughout the entire summer and that should be be a big help, shouldn't it?

Yeah, it would, but I mean I mean, y are are you are you how do you feel about trying it for a few weeks and then you know, how how do you feel about that?

I don't know, but I mean You're gonna watch over some adults who who are actually just gonna be nude in the pool.

And and you're nude as well, up on the big chair that overwatches everybody.

Seventeen fifty.

I don't seventeen fifty, Carrie.

You know?

I don't think I'm gonna be able to do that.

Seventeen fifty, Carrie.

We're talking about four hours of you being nude along with some other people that are already nude.

So I mean, what's the big deal, you know?

What we need you to do is come down.

We're gonna do some drills, some lifeguard drills and make sure that you're definitely qualified.

But we're gonna make sure that when you do those, you gotta be naked as well, okay?

What why why would I have to do some drills naked?

I I'm uh I'm already a lifeguard.

What do I need to drill next to you?

I don't understand.

Well, that's the way it is, Carrie.

We need you to come down and do some drills.

Well, it's not gonna take long, probably about a half hour.

You come down, you get undressed, you get in the pool, and we make sure that you're qualified, um, to to swim nude, to handle to saving somebody's life nude, the whole nine yards.

But how d what I mean, what if my family come to that?

You know what, Carrie, I I I uh you know, I can't go back and forth with you.

I can't.

Now I know you you you you know, I looked at your resume, I looked at what you were doing and what you're pursuing in life, and I thought this would be a great opportunity for you.

But I can't be yeah.

I mean, I can do that to my family and You can no no, wait a minute, hang on a second.

Now you can't tell me you can't do it now.

Oh, yes, I yes I can.

So you get your down here in the morning so I can get these drills done, and I want you naked when you get here and get in this pool, you understand me?

Who the hell do you think you're talking to?

Are you some kind of pool pimp?

Life guard human resources higher pimp?

You're not pimping me.

I don't have to come down there, but I don't want to come down there.

You're gonna bring you think you're gonna come down here tomorrow and get in this pool and do these drills.

Do you think you're talking to?

I'm talking to you.

You get your down here tomorrow and you do these drills.

What we need to do is go get you a panel of Anderson Baywash, because I ain't the

one.

Excuse me.

What are you gonna be doing no new breaststroke for you all freaky?

I don't know them.

I don't know them people.

I don't give a d who you know.

Now you get your down here and you take the job.

I'm not coming down there to your phone pool tomorrow and and swim nude and life guard new for a bunch of uh wrong shit.

I don't know who the you think you're trying to.

I was trying to be nice to you.

When you come a house with that and

Okay, you need to go get your uh Pamela Anderson Baywatch, you know, deep sea dive and I don't know what you need, but I'm not what you need.

You get your black down here tomorrow.

Who you think you're talking to?

I'm talking to you.

Who you think you talking to?

I'm talking to you.

Who the f do you think you're talking to?

I got something I wanna say to you.

You listening?

You know what?

You you better go ahead and say, because I'm about to hang up this phone in your face right now.

This is nephew Tommy from the Steve Harvey morning show.

You just got pranked by your girlfriend.

Are you serious?

She pranked you, baby.

Your girlfriend pranked it.

You alright?

No way.

When I see that, she's gonna have one less float.

I cannot believe she dare me like this.

All right, I gotta ask you something, baby.

What is?

What is the baddest?

I'm talking about the baddest radio show in the land.

The Steve Harvey Morning Show.

The distress in her voice.

My family coming to I thought about it.

And I can't do that.

I I just can't do that to my family.

Right, sweet.

Right.

She really was.

Get your black ass down.

Why could you talk to her like that?

Tommy, I'd have been down there for sure.

I got my daddy.

But Tommy, you kind of blew it in the beginning.

You know, you're gonna be at the pool, you're gonna be like the head uh, you're gonna be the overseer.

I said, What kind of slave ass over here?

I said what did his old ass say to this younger?

You're gonna be like the uh overseer for them.

What point would what point shall I bring out my bag?

And pick a bail.

All right, nephew, thank you for that.

I was scared for you on that one.