Oak Tree Navel

Oak Triocity.

Some people really are crazy.

Oh!

Put the two what test?

When it comes to living on the best.

Whatever.

Whatever.

I can't say it anyway.

You know the song.

Hello?

Hello, I'm trying to reach Marvin, please.

Yeah, this is Marvin speaking.

Uh, Marvin, hi, I'm calling you from Dr.

McGow's office.

I'm actually the lab technician.

Um, and you you came in and got a physical, I guess about a couple weeks ago?

Yeah.

Okay, and from my understanding, this is for your for your occupation, correct?

Yeah.

Okay, you you're in that what do you do for a living when you're a um Oh, yeah, I'm a truck driver.

Okay.

Now, I was giving you a call about I'm here looking at your records and all the testings that you actually went through.

Um, wow.

Let's see.

Have you had any have you had any activity or any problems around your navel area?

Nah, everything been fine.

Okay.

Everything alright, huh?

Yeah, everything is fine, but I mean, if you you haven't had any any type of uh nothing, no breakout or anything around your navel or whatsoever.

Nah, man, second time you asked me about my navel.

No, everything going straight, man.

Okay.

Trying to see what's going on, man.

What's happening?

Okay, actually, you've been diagnosed with um oak triocitus.

And oak triocidus oak triocus is actually a fungus that comes out of South America.

And you you you have no activity whatsoever around your navel?

No, man, could ask me the same thing, man.

Oak trioxidus.

It's oak triocitus, sir.

And what did you say that?

What that is, is actually you're you're if you haven't had it yet, you say you haven't had any activity.

There's gonna be like a small little tree that's gonna be growing from your navel.

And it it gets about six inches long, and it it probably bears about probably about twenty-five to thirty leaves on it, but it's very small.

Whoa, whoa, what now?

Back by me.

You say a tree gonna be growing out of my nail.

It's gonna be a small tree, and uh what's gonna happen is I'm gonna have to get you to come back in probably in the next month.

We're gonna need you to come in so we can check it out, but it's gotta grow its fullest potential before we can actually do anything to it.

Nah, I can't come in in no money.

I gotta come in today, man.

Somebody got to tell you.

Well, we can't it has to grow its fullest potential, sir.

And uh the full term is actually like about four weeks before we can actually Man, I'm not waiting for no four weeks, man.

Somebody gotta come tell me something right, motherfucker now, man.

I ain't finna go marry a man and have to fly out of town, man, to have something going out of my neighbor, man.

Y'all niggas going crazy, man.

Sir, Oak Tree Hospital is something that's very rare.

We were actually getting this assignment from overseas in South America on how to treat this.

Man, I don't give a damn.

Where is that, man?

Somebody's gonna have to come give me some some help right now, man.

I'm finna get ready to get married, man.

I'm not finna be putting up with it, man.

Somebody in this office, man, got to come down here and do something for me, man.

And what you say, can if you say I can cut it out myself.

Sir, the best I can do is probably trim it a bit, you know, and maybe knock a few leaves off, but I cannot touch the full stalk at all.

Man, you can cut this motherfucker, put a band-aid, do something.

Sir, if you cut it, it's a possibility.

You cannot, sir.

If you cut it, there's a possibility of hemorrhaging, and you're gonna really create a bigger problem than what you have already.

Man, fuck that shit, nigga.

I'm trying to get this shit pulled out, man.

You didn't tell me can't nobody in that motherfucker I've drive down there to get this motherfucker shit pulled out, man.

Shit, I'm gonna get married in two motherfucking weeks, man.

We finna fly to Jamaica and shit, and can't nail a motherfucker at this motherfucker.

Shit, somebody can do this some shit for me.

Shit.

I pull this motherfucker out of my goddamn.

Sir, you cannot pull it out.

You're gonna create a fuck that, man.

Shit.

You're gonna create a bigger problem if you try to pull it out, sir.

The motherfucking problem is already there.

Sh I'm trying to get this shit out of man.

Shit, you mean to tell me that big ass motherfucking hospital ain't now motherfucker that can't even help me?

Shit.

Sir.

You want me to do, man?

Sir, Oak Tree Osidas is not something that we treat all the time.

Like I said, it hails from South America.

So we got I don't give a goddamn if it hell from from Great Britain.

God damn it.

Somebody that got them hospital for to come down here and help me pull this motherfucker off, man.

Sir, I understand what you're going through, but we have to let it grow its full term, which is four weeks, sir.

The full root of it.

I ain't finna let shit grow, man.

Some shit finna go down right now, man.

Y'all motherfuckers gonna have to do something, man.

Sir, there's nothing we can do.

We can probably trim it a little bit.

Shit, fuck the trim, goddammit.

Shit, get some goddamn chainsaw and cook this motherfucker, man.

Do something.

Sir, there's nothing we can do at this point but sit back and wait and let it grow its full term, okay?

Can we get you I'm not doing no motherfucking waiting, man.

Fuck that, man.

Somebody finna help me right goddamn now, man.

Sir, can we get an appointment for you in the next five four to five weeks?

And we do that?

No, you gotta get appointment for me today.

Shit, I'm finna get married, man.

I'm finna fly to Jamaica and every motherfucking thing, man.

I can't have no shit sticking out at me.

I can't even sit at the motherfucking airport, man.

Fuck you gonna embarrass me like that, man, to have some shit sticking out of my motherfucking neighbor.

Nigga, is you crazy?

Sir, I understand it, and like I said, oak triocitus is very rare.

And it's it's something that we haven't treated that many times here in the States.

But overseas, the message that we're getting is that we need to let it grow its full term.

So we mean to tell me ain't nobody in America got oak tree.

What the fuck is the name of that shit, man?

It's oak triocetus, sir.

So how the fuck I can get it if don't nobody else in a motherfucking America got it.

Sir, I could not believe that you were coming up with oak triocitus here in the States.

It's it's something very rarely seen here.

There's been two people in the past that's been diagnosed with this and they actually passed away.

So now you telling me some motherfuckers done die and fuck with this motherfucking shit, man.

And you're gonna tell me three motherfucking weeks.

Man, I'm coming down another day, man.

Somebody finna do something for me, man.

Sir, there's nothing that we can do today until four to five weeks is coming.

Fuck that shit.

Nigga, I gotta go get mad.

Nigga, I'm flying to Jamaica, man.

Did you fucking hear what I just said, man?

I'm hearing what you're saying, but I can't do anything if you don't see the tree already coming out of the navel yet.

Shit, cut the motherfucker off.

Shit, somebody got to do something now now.

Damn, what you want me to do, man?

I don't know what I want you to do, sir.

But I have one more thing I can tell you.

Yeah, well, what you got to say, man?

Are you listening?

I'm listening to you, man.

This is nephew Tommy from the Steve Hobbin morning show.

You just got pranked by your boy Earl.

Man, you gotta be fucking kids, man.

Damn, man.

Tell that nigga Earl, man.

I'm gonna kick that nigga out of my wig.

Man, fuck you too, nephew Tommy, man.

Y'all motherfuckers, man.

Shit, y'all niggas have be going crazy as hell, man.

I'm looking all at my damn neighbor thing, the tree's finna go out of this motherfucker, man.

I'm on the hell, man.

No, you ain't on there right now.

Man, I'm already nervous and shit.

Shit, I'm finna get married in two weeks.

Hey man, I got one more thing to ask you, Marvin, man.

What is the baddest?

I'm talking about the baddest radio show in the land.

Steve Harvard Morning Show.

Nigga, if you listening, nigga, your ass is out the wig.

Yeah, yeah, you out of there.