One More Cough Gets You Fired

Hello.

Hello, I'm trying to reach uh Brielle, please.

This is she, Master Speaking.

This is Lawrence from the job.

How you doing today?

Oh, I'm good.

How you doing?

I'm good.

I'm good.

Listen, we got a situation at the job.

Uh I know it's a little late this evening.

Um are you are you all right health wise?

How are you feeling?

Um I'm I'm fine.

What are you talking about?

Like, I mean, I got a little cold, so I've been a little under the weather, but you're you look you're in a cubicle then.

Most of the the people around your cubicle are starting to be a little worried because they're saying that you know you're you're coughing a lot.

And coughing?

Yeah.

So I mean, let me ask you something.

Right.

Okay.

Do you think that you need to maybe be tested?

Tested?

For what?

I know you ain't talking about this damn uh uh what what's it called?

Coronavirus.

Do you do you do you do you think you need to be tested?

Do I think I I think you need to No, excuse me.

Wait, let me hold on.

Listen, I know the world's in a friendly, but everybody don't got no damn coronavirus, okay?

I have a cold.

I'm a little stuffy, but nonetheless, like I'm taking therapy and taking care of myself.

I don't need to be tested for anything.

Okay, so do you do you think it's possible maybe you need to be self-quarantined and to find out Lawrence, Lawrence, honey, I think you are stepping on toes right now.

Okay.

Um I bet that's very inappropriate.

I don't know who put you up to this, but nonetheless, I think y'all really stepping on to this has got to be like HIPAA or something.

Like, what the f is this?

Okay, like I don't have no more coronavirus.

So let me just say this to you.

We d uh I've talked to everybody on that floor that you work on.

All right.

I've talked I've talked to Darlene, all right.

I've talked to what's the other girl?

Her name is Loretta, I think.

I've spoken with Loretta.

Um Loretta.

Loretta is gonna say no mess like that.

What do you what what are you thinking?

Okay.

So let me let me let's give me a tip.

L let me say this.

You got one more cough, and they and they're gonna put you out of the building.

W excuse me?

One more.

Listen, okay, Lauren, that's her name, right?

My name is Lawrence.

I'm on the eighth floor.

Yes.

You.

Okay, you on the A floor, so you're not even in HR to even be coming at me like this.

But but you know what we treat.

I went to the doctor.

I don't know where where y'all get off coming at me like that, okay?

I'm not getting paid enough for nobody to be trusting me by my personal business.

Okay?

Y'all really to y'all need to listen.

I wouldn't went this f<unk>ing job.

Y'all got me all the way fed up, okay?

Okay, Luca, let me let me go and say this here.

You act like this your personal business.

It's our business when you start coughing all over the building, and we go in the country going through what it's going through right now.

What the world is going through.

So you gotta understand that we're going through, I don't give a damn what the world is going through.

I'm going through my own sh, okay?

All right.

I got two kids.

I work very hard.

I'm a single mother, and I'm up here doing the best I can.

I got a call and I still bring my ass to work every fing day, and I be on time.

So for anybody to be coming at me like that, that is disrespectful.

Okay, I put in ten years at this job, and I don't give a damn.

Y'all got me messed up.

Now I need to speak to your higher up.

Who is your boss?

I late listen, I I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say it one more time.

You got one more cough and your ass is out this.

That's it.

Ain't nobody finna get.

I don't care who you talking to.

I don't know who you think you talking to, but you got me all the way messed up, okay?

Listen here, okay?

I don't give a damn coronavirus.

You need to bring me a corona because you're stressing me out right now, okay?

I work too hard for this, okay?

I'll be on time for work.

I don't not call off other people be, you know, doing uh take a long smoke breaks and s and I do what I do.

I

Listen, I I Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh see there it is right there.

That's it, right there.

Did you did you just cough again?

Did you just cough?

Listen.

Uh I'm gonna be.

Did you just c did you just cough?

Yes, I just called.

I told you I got a call.

I don't got no damn corona, baby.

You know what?

I ain't about to argue with you.

Where's your boss?

Who's your boy?

Who's up my boss?

I were I uh Tommy is is is my higher up.

Tommy.

Yeah, Tommy is Tommy is the person that's over me.

What what Tommy?

I don't know no Tommy.

Do you know nephew Tommy from the Steve Harvey Morning Show?

Huh?

Darlene and Loretta got me the prank phone call you.

Oh no!

Oh my god!

You gotta be able to see how to go!

Oh

my god!

Who put the way this is?

Oh my god, what the little thing is.

Listen, listen, listen, listen, Brielle, Brielle.

Darlene and Darlene and Loretta got me the prank phone call.

Yo girls is in the cubicles with you.

Got me the prank phone call.

Oh, I'm gonna kill them.

Oh my god.

Oh my God, I am so impressed.

They told me they say, mess with her about her cold.

I was like, all right, come on, get my card.

Oh my god.

Wait, so you guys got this on your show?

Mrs.

Mr.

Harvey?

Like y'all gonna.

Oh my God.

Why would y'all pray with me like that?

Oh my God.

I am over here fighting this cold, trying to pay myself, struggling, single mom.

Like, oh my God.

I can't believe y'all got me like this on the radio.

I got you, baby girl.

Tell me this.

2020.

What's the baddest?

And I mean the baddest radio show in the land.

What is it?

The Steve Harvey Morning Show.

Now go take you some Nyquil or some music next or something.

Oh my God.

Thank you so much.

Oh my God.