Pizza to Prison

The original pizza.

May I help you?

Hello, I'll try to order pizza.

Okay, can you open me, please?

Okay, so about that, sir.

Can I take your order?

Yeah, I need to order ten pizzas.

You want ten pizzas?

And what kind of crust was that gonna be?

I need six.

Can you talk up on me, please?

I need six cheese pizzas.

Six cheese pizzas on thin crust.

What kind of crust was that again?

Thin.

Thin.

Thin.

Thin.

Six.

Thin crust pizzas.

And do you want any other topics on that sir?

No, I need uh two two meat lovers.

What was that again?

Can you can you stick up a little bit?

I was really having a hard time hearing you.

I need two meat lovers.

Two meat lovers is that?

Yes, two meat lovers.

Two meat lovers pizza.

Okay, and what kind of crust would you like on that, sir?

Uh that's thick, thick crust.

You said you want a thin crust on that?

Thick.

Sir, I'm having a really hard time hearing you.

Can you speak up for a minute?

I need I need two meat lovers with thick crust.

Thick crust, okay.

Okay.

All right.

And then the last is two veggies on thin crust.

Two veg sheets?

Veggies.

Veggies.

Veggies.

Two veggies.

Two veggies on the thick crust.

Do y do y'all deliver to um do y'all deliver to uh um uh gated gated community can you hold for a second for me please sir?

Okay.

Sorry about that, sir.

Okay, can I get your phone number?

Uh three four two dash six eight nine deliver that as well okay I heard three four two dash six eight nine but I didn't get the rest of those numbers.

Can I get an area code or no my number three four two dash six eight nine.

Okay um

I need to get the whole seven digits and the area code so that we can put you in the computer to try to find your location.

I told you my number my number is three four two dash six eight nine okay okay sir um let me get my manager on the phone excuse me wait um there's my phone he's giving me like six numbers I maybe talking I'll I'll take care of it.

Sir how are you doing?

Hey how you doing?

I'm doing great.

Alright I order ten pizzas, six cheese pizzas, two meat lovers and two veggies.

I'm trying to see if do y'all have a problem delivering to a gated community.

Oh not at all.

We deliver to a gated community all the time.

Let me just get a a number for you and an address.

Right my number three four two dash six eight nine Sir, that's only six digits.

We need seven digits.

Well, actually your error code plus your seven digits.

Okay, I I don't I don't.

If you just leave it with the guard, he'll make sure I get it.

No, sir, I don't think you understand.

I need to have a phone number where I can call you.

We can go in and out of the gate.

That's not a problem.

When I get there, I want to deliver directly to you.

You can't go in and out that gate.

Shh listen, you can't go in and out that gate.

Sir, I'm I'm sorry I can't hear you.

Can you speak up some?

Okay.

I'm trying to get ten pizzas delivered and you just drop it off with the guard.

Sir, I understand what you're saying.

I'm trying to deliver the pizza to you directly.

The guard is not who's getting the pizza, right?

I'm delivering it to the pizza.

I'm cool with the guard.

He's gonna pay you.

Okay.

Well, where are you where are you located?

Let's do this.

Where are you located?

I'm in Angola.

Angola?

Angola.

Where's that where's Angola?

Angola.

You Y'all don't know Angola?

I'm in Angola.

Angola, Louisiana?

The penitentiary.

Huh?

So we can't deliver pizza to Angola P penitentiary?

Look, I ordered ten pizzas from her.

Six six cheese pieces, two meatloavers, and two veg.

Look, I can't be on this phone too much longer.

Listen, sir, I I d I know what you're saying, but we're not delivering to Angola.

Do you know where we're located?

You gotta call somebody.

We're in Dallas.

Look, you gotta call somebody in Angola, Louisiana.

Look, I'm trying to get these ten pieces.

Look, I'm late, I'm not finna go back and forth with you.

Exactly.

And I'm not gonna go back and forth with you either.

We are unable to deliver this pizza to you.

Okay?

Why?

Because you are in the penitentiary, sir.

No one delivers pizza to people in the penitentiary.

People in the penitentiary can't order pizza?

No, sir, they cannot.

We do not deliver to the penitentiary.

And then we're in Dallas.

Do you know how long it would take to get pizza to Angola?

I don't give a damn.

Let me tell you okay.

Who the manager there?

I am the manager.

You're speaking with the manager.

What's your name?

Never mind what my name is.

Just know that I'm the manager.

Okay, let me say this to you, since you the manager there.

If I don't get no pizzas here tonight, I'm c when I get out in three years, I'm coming down now and I'm gonna f you up.

So who the f you think you talking to?

You ain't gonna f me up in three years, I won't be here, but matter of fact, I just might stay here for three years.

So when you come back Let me tell you something.

If y'all don't bring these pieces to this penitentiary and get it to the guard before he get off work, then dammit it's gonna be some around here.

Now I didn't order these ten pieces and everybody on the cell block is waiting on them.

Sir, I don't I don't care about you and your folk on your cell block.

You are in the penitentiary, and I don't even know why you calling are you on my phone.

This is a business, okay?

And I have a job to do.

I am not delivering pizzas to a penitentiary.

So y'all discriminating about where y'all bring pizzas at.

No, we don't discriminate, but we ain't located in that goal unless you're gonna give me some petrol for my metro.

I ain't coming.

Let me tell you something.

I want you to remember these numbers.

342-689.

If you see that spray painted on your house or that damn pizza place, then you know my got out and I'm looking for your 342-689.

I don't give a f about 342 689 and 743.

What I'm saying is your f is grass if you come up here in three years, and guess what?

Don't drop the so

who you think you talking to?

That's what I said.

Who you think you talking to?

You better get off my phone.

I got I got one more thing to tell your f before I get out in three years.

These are the last words I'm gonna say to you.

Hey, what's that?

You listening?

Yeah, I'm listening.

Say what you gotta say.

This is nephew Tommy from the Steve Harbin Morning Show.

Your girlfriend Cherie got me to pray for call you.

Oh my goodness, you got to be you got to be freaky kidney, man.

Oh my god.

Oh God, this is nephew Tommy.

Okay.

I feel so bad.

I was about to mess you up, man.

Hey, I gotta ask I gotta ask both of y'all.

Can both of y'all hear me?

Yeah, we can hear.

What is the baddest and I mean the baddest radio show in the land?

The C Holly