Principal's Corporal Punishment

Oh.

Hello.

Hello.

Hi, I'm um trying to reach a Mr.

Cotton.

This Mr.

Cotton.

Okay, can can you turn your radio or TV down?

I can't really hear you.

Oh, yes, sir.

Um, my name is Mr.

Lanson.

I'm actually the new principal here at um middle school.

And w uh what's the name again?

Uh Mr.

Lanson.

Mr.

Lanson, okay.

Your your son, he attends b middle school here, am I correct?

Yes, sir.

Okay, good.

Listen, um, I'm the new principal here.

We've um just replaced the last principal and I'm actually calling around.

What I've done is when I before I got here, I asked for a list of students that were, you know, I'm not gonna say problem kids, but you know, that kinda get themselves in a little trouble here and there, and your son's name happens to be on the list.

Name is on that list?

Uh yes, I got about uh I got about thirty-five kids that are actually on this list and your son

is actually on the list and and you you are Mr.

Cotton, correct?

I am Mr.

Cotton.

I mean uh are we are you sure you speaking about my son though?

Um, yeah, I mean there's only there's only one d on the list, sir.

I'm I'm um and it's it's it's what's been given to me and what what I'm doing is calling around to all of the parents of the kids that are on this list and letting you guys know that I'm gonna be keeping a close eye on 'em, as well as uh letting you know that I'm gonna be reinstating corporal punishment here in the school.

So so Corporal Punishment.

Uh what's that?

That's actually where if your son gets sent to the office, which is my office, then there will be paddling going on and opposed to I I don't believe in I don't believe in detention, I don't believe in suspension.

I believe in, you know, if we spank these kids we can get 'em back in order.

So I'm So you you you gonna spank him.

Sir, here's my thing.

I really truly believe that if we get back to the sorts of things You know, and I don't mean what I'm about to say to be harsh, but if we get back to beating, we'll get these kids back in order.

I mean, but I'm uh I know he had trouble in English, but I don't think that Uh, calls for a uh beating for a uh a low grade.

No, no, no, this has nothing to do with grades, sir.

This has to do with punishment.

And what I'm understanding is if your son is on my list, and if your son comes down to my office, I'm gonna take care of it right then and then.

If my son comes to your office, you're gonna be on my damn list.

Sir, I'm trying to get these kids back in order.

That's the reason why I've been brought in and I've replaced the last principal.

You understand?

So what I need from you is to get a to get a great understanding that if your child comes to my office, corporal punishment will be what he's going to deal with.

I tell you what.

Let my son come home and tell me he got some damn corporal punishment, and the next morning me and you gonna do some corporal punishment.

Sir, do you want your child in order or do you wanna be bailing his butt out of jail at the age of eighteen?

They're gonna be bailing me out of jail if you put your damn hands on my son.

Okay, are you taking care of your son punishment wise at home?

You need to m uh my son don't get in no damn trouble.

Okay, that's English.

Here's the problem.

Parents not believing that their children get in any trouble.

That's the first problem.

Well, then I got email, I got phone call.

So the first phone call I get is going straight to whipping, it ain't no letter sent home, ain't no email sent home saying there is a problem.

I don't I don't I don't Sir, I've uh I'll t you know, I'm gonna calm down here.

I I'm gonna tell you once again, I am not going to to to have send your son to detention.

I'm not gonna call you.

I'm gonna take care of my job.

My job is to make sure of my when you take care of yours, I'm gonna take care of mine, and that's protect my son, and you put your hands on him and we got a problem.

We're gonna have a problem because nine tim I'm telling you right now, I'm calling you and giving you the warning.

Your son will be dealt with.

And you're gonna be dealt with.

Will be dealt with on a regular basis if need be.

You're gonna get dealt with on a regular basis.

You're gonna get tired of seeing me.

Okay, sir, do I need to actually have corporal punishment with you?

I tell you what, when you do when you bring that corporal punishment to me, you better have the g police there.

'Cause they gonna need corporal punishment, they gonna need whatever hell, they gonna need the g swat team when I get down and you put your hands on my son.

I know that.

Uh all I'm you know what, sir, maybe maybe maybe the the the the swooping needs to start with you.

It it has to.

We can do this in front of the cafeteria and let all the kids see the damn principal get his damn corporate punishment.

Sir, sir, I'm not uh I'm not uh I don't I don't fear you first of all.

I want you to fear me.

I want you to stand there and take your whipping like a man.

I don't want to chase you around like no little around the school.

Sir, sir, sir.

The bottom line is corporal punishment is being instated.

Your son is gonna abide by it.

You're gonna have to accept it.

Or maybe maybe you need to.

I tell you what, you say you got 35 names on your list?

It better be 34 because cotton name better not be on no corporal punishment list.

I know that Sir, sir.

Listen, he's not on a corporal punishment list.

He's on a list of kid of kids that act up from time to time.

My damn son don't act up.

My son is a model student.

He got a little trouble with English, you know, cause his mama a little slow, but I that's my d I I I I did that.

You know what I'm saying?

You know what?

Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to the child right now.

You talking to a grown man, and if you put your hands on my son, you're gonna see that I'm a grown f man when I come down there.

I don't only want to put my hands on my damn son.

Then then then I guess it's gonna be a lot of kicking circles.

It's gonna be some kicking.

And you line them up.

Sisting principal, principal, I kick the g cafeteria lady if I come down there.

If she got something to say.

You're gonna watch your tone, you understand me?

And you're gonna you're gonna take what I'm telling you.

I'm a grown man.

Who are you yelling at?

I don't care what you're saying.

Everybody's gonna abide.

I put chains on the door.

I make sure.

I'm Mr.

Lanson, and these kids are gonna abide by what I want, and so are the parents.

And damn it, you, Mr.

Cotton, you're gonna have to toughen up and let me do my damn job.

I tell you what, then you go on do what you got to do today.

But when I get down there, f you better have the g police when I get there.

I tell you who else I'm gonna have here.

If you tell me who the f you gonna have down there then.

I'm gonna have nephew Tommy from the Steve Harvey Morris show.

Cause that's who I am.

Yo coworker Silver, you got me the prank phone call you.

What?

I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna break.

You ain't getting laid on there down at the job in the ramp.

Don't think about my damn kids, man.

Let me bring your damn hands on my k boy.

What time?

I was on my way.

I'm looking for my damn keys.

What are we talking?

I'm gonna whip your name.

Hey, listen, I got one more thing to ask you, Mr.

Codw.

What's that, man?

What's the baddest radio show in the land?

Man, that g Steve Harvey Morning show.

I love y'all, man.