The Smelly Choir Member

Y'all sustained me.

Tommy knows against the blood pressure, boy, man.

Yeah, because y'all ain't right.

Man, you got me hollering in the damn building of my employees looking at me, man.

They ain't never seen me act like this.

I'm up here talking about a meeting, so we can get our company Christmas party together, man.

And you got me acting there, fool here.

Hey, Kenny, man, I got I gotta ask you though, baby.

Come on, man.

What is what's the baddest and I mean the bad is radio show in the land.

The Steve Hobbit morning show, man.

Hey, man, trying to reach more.

Hello, I'm trying to reach uh brother Brother Garland.

Yeah, that's me.

What's what's going on?

Hey, uh uh, brother good good afternoon to you, man.

This is um uh brother Larry uh calling on behalf of the church, uh Mal Calvary, Mr.

Yeah, what's what's going on?

What's going on?

Are you doing it?

Are you did I did I catch you at a bad time?

No, no, I'm good.

I'm good.

I'm good.

Okay.

But I'm calling, we they've appointed me to reach out and give you a call uh concerning the choir.

Okay.

All right.

Now, are you are you doing a lot of

jumping around and getting, you know, uh very sweaty and perspiring a lot when you're when you're in the choir and you all up there on Sunday?

Sometimes.

You know, they they tell us like, hey, you know, we're about to go, make some noise.

We start clapping, and you know, by the time we're done, everybody robes is kind of, you know, hiding stuff.

Right, right.

Well, see, here's here's here's here's what's going on.

We've gotten some complaints that uh when you jump up and down and start perspiring, uh, you must be perspiring more than everybody else because they're saying there's an odor coming from you, you know, uh after sweating.

Yeah.

They saying there's an odor coming from you.

I'm sorry.

Okay, so who who told you to call me, first of all.

Okay.

Well, this this information came from a couple of uh actually three to four members that are in the choir.

Okay, I'm gonna stop you, I'm gonna stop you right here real quick, real quick.

First of all, if it was Lacey or or uh that Daniel that put you up to this, you can say so now.

We can just end this right now.

Cause see, I ain't got no time.

They they've been making these jokes, you know, back and forth, because see, I was trying to go up for tenor section leader and uh Well see, I'm not I'm not uh uh I'm not being appointed to come and talk about who's been in certain sections.

Uh you know, the the only thing that's been brought to my attention is and and I have to bring it actually to the person uh that that's I get all that.

I get that, but who said it is all I'm asking.

That's all I'm saying.

I don't know directly, this was sitting to me.

Where you sit at?

Who are you?

Where you sit at?

I sit on the four pew on the right, and I've never smelled you.

I have never in my life smelled you.

Okay.

Okay, I appreciate that.

I didn't think so.

Okay, you know.

But but but but but but but but but what what what the the the the the notes that I'm giving is we have a funky choir member and we need to get it taken care of.

Okay, and so you sure it's me.

You sure it ain't nobody else that can be able to do that.

No, they said they they said

they said brother Garling James is the one that we need to address this issue with.

Do you do you do you smell yourself when you up there?

I see my robe get wet.

I take my robe off right with past you to preach.

I don't smell nothing.

I ain't never smelled nothing.

Okay, okay.

I ain't never smelled nothing.

It's it's not they're not talking about uh doing service.

This is going on doing choir rehearsal.

See, this this is why I get pissed off right here.

Cause um I feel like I'm personally being judged and you won't tell me who the fence you and it's I don't know who said it.

Are you bathing before rehearsal or are you coming in?

I I bathe every day.

Are you coming straight from work?

Do you need to try maybe bathe before rehearsal?

What kind of work do you do?

First first of all, first of all, I know it this is personal.

I know I don't think like that.

Okay.

What what what like I said, what kind of work do you do?

Uh I'm a I'm an auditor.

So you you inside.

You don't work outside.

No, no, just tell me.

I I don't have no odor.

No, I ain't got no odor?

What do you mean?

But a choir is saying that you do the that the you are the funky choir member.

That's what they're saying.

So what I'm trying to do is get it taken care of where I we would you like me to to to to put maybe get some tiles and soap and have it at the church and you can wash up before rehearsal in the evening.

You know what?

Hey, hey, hey, but no, no, no, I don't don't don't don't kill the messenger.

All y'all motherfuckers up in here trying to talk about me, call me out my name.

Make me look crazy.

I know this is a party of attack.

I I ain't worried about you.

I ain't worried about Lacey.

I ain't worried about Daniel.

And I don't know where you sit.

I told you I sit on the fourth row on the right.

But that ain't got nothing to do.

I'm far enough away where I can't smell your funk.

That's the way I see it.

I'm not fucking.

I told you once.

And I'm I'm I'm gonna keep saying it.

Okay, can I can I tell you this?

Let me let me tell you one name that you did not mention.

Who?

Nephew Tommy.

Do you know who that is?

Oh man.

You like to equalize it, man.

This is nephew Tommy from the Steve Arvin Morning Show.

Your music, your music director, Caleb.

Got me the prank phone call you.