Throw Away Those Books

4:22

A caller claiming to be Steve's bodyguard threatens a man over books allegedly harming his relationship. The man counters that books cannot ruin a relationship unless the man is already a failure.

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Transcript

111 lines
Speaker 1

Uh-huh.

Speaker 1

That's my Uncle Steve's bodyguard.

Speaker 1

Been with him for over 25 years.

Speaker 1

You know the boy is an offer now.

Speaker 1

So what you can't do is call somebody as ignorant as him and tell him to stop selling his book because he's messing up the game for the true players out there.

Speaker 1

Y'all.

Speaker 1

Boomerang.

Speaker 1

Uncut, uncensored.

Speaker 1

Here you go.

Speaker 2

Yo, yo.

Speaker 3

You got my woman all fucked up with this book.

Speaker 1

Don't mess around and get your motherfucking ass whooped by this book.

Huh?

Speaker 2

Hey, nigga.

Speaker 2

Who got it for?

Speaker 1

Nigga, I ain't bought a goddamn book for, but she got it.

Speaker 1

I'm just letting you know, dog.

Speaker 1

Don't let this book get your little ass whooped, huh?

Speaker 2

Okay.

Speaker 2

I doubt if it does that though.

Speaker 1

No, because I'm already letting you know I'm laying for you.

Speaker 2

Okay, cool.

Speaker 2

Motherfucker, why don't you quit laying and

Speaker 1

Say what?

Speaker 2

Why don't the fuck you could land and walk your ass over and get this ass whooping that you think you're gonna give out, motherfucker.

Speaker 2

See, we we shard this shit.

Speaker 2

Land from that's too goddamn long, nigga.

Speaker 2

Why don't we just go on get this shit started now?

Speaker 1

All I'm saying is you messing up people's relationship with this damn book, man.

Speaker 2

Hey, motherfucker, I tell you what.

Speaker 2

It can't fuck your relationship up if you goddamn relationship together.

Speaker 2

A book can't do a motherfucking thing, nigga.

Speaker 2

Won't you be the goddamn man you supposed to be, nigga?

Speaker 2

Fix your goddamn self, you raggly song of a bitch.

Speaker 1

I'm being the man I'm supposed to be.

Speaker 1

I don't need no damn book in my household messing up nothing.

Speaker 2

That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2

Maybe I ain't man enough for you, goddamn woman.

Speaker 2

If a book fucks your life up, nigga, you got a poor ass life, motherfucker.

Speaker 2

Try a man, bitch.

Speaker 1

I am a man.

Speaker 1

I'm letting you know man.

Speaker 2

Uh-uh.

Speaker 2

Try a man, bitch.

Speaker 2

Maybe he'll treat your ass better than the damn woman.

Speaker 1

You ain't finna sit here and talk to me crazy.

Speaker 1

I'll call you.

Speaker 2

Hey, hey, hey, nigga.

Speaker 2

Fuck the fuck out of be a punk, motherfucker.

Speaker 2

You can't be a man.

Speaker 2

Be a goddamn punk.

Speaker 2

Because that's what the fuck you gonna be you run your ass over and fucking with me.

Speaker 1

I'm letting you know I ain't scared of nothing of nobody.

Speaker 2

I'm riding around right now, motherfucker.

Speaker 2

We can meet whatever the fuck you want.

Speaker 2

I'll bring ass lunch when I whip your motherfucking ass spoon feed you, bitch.

Speaker 1

I'm telling you, brother, I'm standing my ground and I ain't scared of nothing.

Speaker 1

You are.

Speaker 2

Hey, nigga, what ground you got, motherfucker?

Speaker 2

You ain't got no goddamn ground.

Speaker 2

Don't look like you got a ground or a fucking woman.

Speaker 2

Well, what ground you got, motherfucker?

Speaker 2

You better be still before you walk off your goddamn ground.

Speaker 2

Shit ain't that big if you got one.

Speaker 2

One step your ass off your ground, nigga.

Speaker 1

I'm letting it let you know you're gonna mess around and get your ass whooped brother.

Speaker 1

You hear me?

Speaker 1

And don't let I don't let none of that height or none of that come to 20.

Speaker 2

That don't that don't bother me at all.

Speaker 2

Hey, dog.

Speaker 2

Dog, been waiting on ass whooping a long time.

Speaker 2

Just can't find a motherfucker to give it to me.

Speaker 2

If you can just please, nigga, pass an ass whooping out to me so I can see how the motherfuckers feel.

Speaker 2

I heard the motherfuckers hurt, but I wouldn't know, nigga, because I ain't never had one.

Speaker 1

I'm gonna tell you this right here.

Speaker 1

Take all them damn books off them shit.

Speaker 1

And every one of these damn books, though, and quit ruining people's life and messing up their houses.

Speaker 2

If I take them off the sheriff, I'm gonna stick every one of them in your ass.

Speaker 2

Because that's my money, nigga.

Speaker 1

You don't even know who you fucking with, man.

Speaker 2

I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 2

Bitch.

Speaker 2

I wouldn't give a fuck if it was Santa Claus or motherfucking nigga Malcolm X.

Speaker 2

Don't make me no goddamn difference.

Speaker 2

It's gonna be the same ass whooping when you fuck with me.

Speaker 2

Whoever the fuck it is.

Speaker 2

I don't give a fuck if you're a kid, dog, cat, motherfucking house.

Speaker 2

It's the same ass whooping, nigga.

Speaker 2

My ass whoopers don't change.

Speaker 2

I don't discriminate, nigga.

Speaker 2

I just apply pressure to anything.

Speaker 2

Fuck with me.

Speaker 1

Nigga, you better, you don't even know who you're dealing with over there.

Speaker 2

I don't give a fuck, nigga.

Speaker 2

Quit being a bitch and tell me who the fuck I'm fucking with.

Speaker 2

Because I guarantee you, it ain't gonna make no goddamn difference.

Speaker 1

This name Tommy from the Steve Harvin moment show.

Speaker 1

Your ass just got pranked.

Speaker 1

Damn, boom.

Speaker 1

I don't even know if I can run this.

Damn.

Speaker 1

Damn, boom.

Speaker 1

You got me scared.

Speaker 1

And I'm in New York and I know you in Dallas.

Speaker 1

I'm still scared.

Speaker 2

Hey, man.

Speaker 2

Hey, nigga.

Speaker 2

I just want whoever this is and dope.

Speaker 2

Nigga, when you come over here.

Speaker 2

It ain't gonna change, though.

Boom!