Wife's Joy Toy Upgrade

Hello.

Hello, I'm trying to reach uh Miss Jewell, please.

Jewel, she isn't here right now.

Can I take a message?

Yes, how you doing, sir?

My name is Dale.

I'm actually calling from uh Love Toys, et cetera.

And uh wanted to let Miss Jewel know that her um her uh her joy toy is actually ready for pickup.

Joy toy.

Uh uh I'm sorry?

Uh uh no, I'm sorry.

Who is this?

My name is Dale.

I'm with Love Toys, etcetera.

Is this the home of Miss Jewel?

Uh yes it is.

Okay.

Well listen, on Friday, Miss Jewel actually brought her joy toy in and uh she completely uh burnt the motor out on that thing.

I guess she's been using it every day.

So um I I put a new motor in and and she wanted a quick turnaround on picking it up.

Man, I don't know what you're talking about, some joy toy, man.

My w my wife doesn't use no joy toy.

What are you talking about?

Uh oh okay, uh let me make sure I got the right person, okay.

Miss Jewel, her your last name is correct?

Yeah, yes, it is.

Okay.

So uh she she's got a sandy sandy colored uh short haircut, is that right?

Yes, she do, man.

That's my wife.

Okay.

Well listen, Miss Jewel actually, uh uh I'm sorry, what's your name, sir?

My name is Philip.

Okay.

Well well, Philip uh Miss Jewel actually came in on Friday and brought her joy toy in and was uh really a little disappointed and depressed that uh it actually uh broken the motor had burnt out on it.

So I I actually put her a 2011 motor in and I upgraded it for and it's got more horsepower to it.

So uh I don't know I don't know what the f you talking about.

My wife, I'm my wife's joy toy.

You know, you know, you y you know what, Mr.

Phillip, uh quite a few men uh really don't know that their wife have uh their wives have a joy toy and and I'm not surprised to hear that you don't know anything about it.

The model she has is a two thousand nine.

So uh she's had this for quite some time.

I just upgraded her to a better, better horsepower and she's gonna be able to keep that thing another couple years.

But I I know from the uh the looks of that motor, she's been using that thing every single day.

Let me let me ask you something since you know so much.

How come I never saw it?

I never seen her back.

Phillip, it it it it happens all the time that uh the husband never knows anything about it.

You know, my job is to just keep selling them and keep fixing them when they break down.

And what I what I really reason why I was actually calling, I wanted to see if she didn't mind coming in and getting fitted so we can make sure that this one fits her perfectly and she's she's comfortable with it.

What hold hold up dude what the hell did you say?

Well we want you know what we do now is we we we actually get you fitted for your joy toy and and we make sure it fits you the way you you want it and then and and everyone's you know it's kinda like buying buying shoes and listen hold listen man why don't you take your joy toy stick it up your f and we'll see if it fit then what the hell are you talking about fitted

but bring my wife down to get fitted for some joy toy you disrespectful man.

Uh oh uh oh uh okay sir I I uh this this I I understand that this is probably the language you've never heard of you disrespectful man what the f no I'm I'm I'm I'm uh sir I mean no disrespect I just want to say Miss Jewel's been a uh a good customer all these years and I don't I don't want to uh create any problems or anything like that.

So

hold hold the f up customer for how many years?

Uh uh uh four and a half years.

Four and a half years.

How come I ain't know about this man Sir like I said before the the husband is all the the last to know about their wives owning joy toy you know but let me say this uh uh you should be proud uh uh she engrave your pet name right on that thing so

we don't even have a pet what are you talking about?

Well no what what what what you you know what you've named yourself.

You know what I mean?

Every I mean every every man has a pet name for their you know for themselves so I don't have a pet name.

Oh okay.

There there's a name that she had me engrave on here.

What name are you talking

Big Charles is what I got engraved on it.

Big Charles.

Big Charles.

Big Charles is what she had me engraved on it, sir.

Is that not is that not a pet name or a nickname or something?

Um wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

So I'm sorry.

Hang on, sir.

Big Charles is who?

Big Charles is her ex-husband.

Uh okay.

Well that that wow.

That's what she had me engraved on there, Big Charles.

I want to see this toy.

I don't even believe this.

I'm sorry.

I I

I mean, I had no idea.

And you got Big Charles?

Well, I don't have Big Charles.

She's got Big Charles, got me to in uh uh engrave it on there.

I've engraved Big Charles on the actual joy toy.

Are you are you biggest Charles?

I mean, I don't mean to harm, but are you the question is that?

To ask me some stupid like that.

I mean, I don't I let me think something you wish you big Charles name again, you wanna be little Charles because I'll stop you in the damn ground.

What the hell are you talking about?

I don't want to hear nothing about no big Charles no more.

Are you crazy?

Sir, sir, there must be a lot of people.

She asked me to engrave Big Charles on it, sir.

What the f I'm gonna say to you?

I don't want to hear nothing about no Big Charles again.

Okay, well my wife's come on, we want to straighten this out and I'm gonna make sure that I find out what all you are.

Okay, sir, sir.

I don't care about nothing.

I don't give a f about no joy tie, no boy tie.

Whatever hell you got down there.

I don't I don't want you to be there.

You got your cheek out of

about you.

I need I either need I need a cruiser.

Sir I got some big charles again.

Sir, sir, sir.

I either need your wife.

I don't want to hear no big Charles again, don't you say?

Okay, okay, well, you know, sir.

Okay, here I'll tell you what.

There's another name engraved on here.

Maybe, maybe, maybe I mean, because she's got two names on here.

Uh underneath Big Charles, you know, because Big Charles.

Charles is on there real big, but uh underneath I don't want to hear nothing about big dogs no more.

What is the other boat?

Oh okay.

Well, underneath uh that name is Tommy.

Tommy.

Who was Tommy?

Tommy, I'm Tommy.

I'm nephew Tommy from the Steve Hobby morning show.

Your wife, Jewel, got me to print on call you.

You got this, you got this, you got me.

Oh man, you got me.

You got me.

Oh, Daniel.

Oh God.

Oh, damn.

No, I was gonna go.

I gotta ask you, I gotta ask you, I gotta ask you one more thing, man.

What is the baddest, and I mean the baddest radio show in the land.