Black Church Quiz

This is Grant.

Hi Grant.

Uh Grant Stevens, right?

Yes.

Hey, hey, Greg, this is Brother Lewis Finley.

I'm calling from uh Mount Sinai, uh missionary Baptist Church.

You you and your wife just joined uh a couple weeks ago, am I right?

Absolutely, yes.

Okay.

So now listen, um uh I I wanted to reach out to you.

Uh I know you guys have started the uh the orientation, and from my understanding, you you finished one one class of the orientation.

You got three more to go, is that right?

Yes.

All right, all right, all right.

So, first of all, I want to say welcome to Mount Sinai, and and and I hope you are enjoying yourself.

I I know that you and your wife are uh a mixed couple.

You're you're a Caucasian and she's she's black.

Are you uh are you liking the church so far, uh, Grant?

Absolutely.

We really are enjoying it.

Uh we completed our first orientation and uh yeah, so far we're really enjoying it.

Okay, okay.

Did I catch you at a bad time?

Uh I am at work right now, but it's okay.

I've got a couple I've got a couple minutes.

Okay.

Okay.

Well, I just wanted to call you, man.

I I was worried.

I know you because I don't think you know this, but you are the first Caucasian to join our church.

And I just want to make sure you kind of knew uh the language and and just uh just kind of knowing what the black church is all about.

And there's certain sayings and different things I think you should know so that w uh, you know, uh I just don't want you to say the s the wrong thing while you're at the church.

Does that make sense?

Uh okay.

Okay.

So so what I wanted to do, like I I I wanted to give you a little black church quiz.

So you can kind of maybe if you could let me know where you are.

Maybe if you could it'll let me know where you are, you know, if you want a a lower level or a high level as far as being knowledgeable about the black church.

Like, fill the fill this blank in for me, Grant.

If and if you don't mind, I just want to take a little bit of your time and I'll let you get back to work.

But first of all, give a blank to God.

Give a blank.

But what would what would go in that blank right there?

First of all, give a blank to God.

Yeah, uh all I can think of is give give thanks to God.

Uh no, see that's wrong.

See, that's wrong.

See, uh see what it is is first of all, give a honor to God.

All right.

Remember, first of all, give an honor to God.

You got that?

Okay, yes.

Yes.

Okay.

First of all, give a honor to God who is the blank of my life.

What what what what goes in the blank?

First of all, give an honor to God who is the blank of my life.

The love of my life.

No, no.

See, that's that's that's that's wrong.

First of all, give an honor to God who is the head of my life.

Do you say that?

I'm sorry?

Okay.

I I was just are you sure?

Are you sure about that?

Oh, I'm definitely sure about man.

I what what I don't want you to do is question what what I I know.

I'm from the black church.

I know you're not.

I wasn't questioning you, sir.

I wasn't questioning.

I've just always heard it that way, but

so uh I'm trying to give you the understanding of knowing what the black church is about.

You understand?

I understand.

I just I pre no, I appreciate you.

I'm I apologize, sir.

Okay.

Now now uh look, I I don't know these answers, obviously, but I I've got a meeting I gotta get to here in a minute.

Like this is I'm curious.

Well, wait a minute, wait a minute, Grant.

I know you have a meeting, but what's more important?

Your meeting or knowing uh your position at the black church?

What what what's more important?

I really don't have time for this right now.

I can't believe this is actually happening.

Like, did you does your pastor even know that you're calling me right now?

Well, no, I I I took the liberty of myself when I realized you was Cartesian that I would call and try to help you so you would know what to do when you're in the black church when people are saying certain things.

You okay, okay.

Grant, if you don't mind, just do this for me, Grant.

Like, do you do you know what hooping is?

Hooping?

Like hula hooping.

Uh no.

Hooping is when the pastor is at the end of his sermon.

So listen to this.

Good God almighty.

Do that for me if you if you would, Grant.

Oh, low.

Oh, God almighty.

No, no, no, no.

You you let's just come on, you you with me now.

Oh

good God Almighty.

Uh I just

I can't believe I'm doing this.

Oh, lo

God almighty.

Okay.

Hey, hey, Grant, do you think maybe it's possible that me and you can have some sessions before you come back to the church and I can prepare you more?

Hey, man, look, listen, you have caught me at a really bad time, and I'm I'm I'm quite honestly just so frustrated.

Like, I've never heard of a quiz.

Like this?

I'm I'm really offended to be honest with you.

Like, do you guys not want me to go to your church anymore?

Like a matter of fact, dude, you should be calling my wife right now.

She's black.

But she should already know the queen's question.

You the one don't know.

Why am I calling her?

I should call you.

I am at work right now.

I have a meeting to get to in just a minute.

I don't know what you're doing, and I I hold on a second.

I have got to close my office door.

This is so embarrassing.

I have never, ever received a phone call like this in my life.

And you better be lucky.

I mean, I want to talk to your pastor.

I am going to talk to him next Sunday.

No joke.

Well, I didn't mean to for you to get hostile like that.

I didn't mean to get you I didn't mean to upset you or nothing like that.

Well, can I can I can I can I say something else to you?

One last thing, and I have to go.

Okay.

I just want to let you know that this is nephew Tommy from the Steve Harvey morning show.

Your wife Carolyn got me to prank phone call you.

Shut up.

I am so sorry.

I am so sorry, sir.

Are you good?

You all right?

I'm alright, man.

I'm alright.

A little embarrassed, but I'm alright.

Greg, you gotta do it for me one more time.

Oh

my

god, oh my

man, look at do this for me.

Tell me what is the baddest, I mean the baddest radio show in the land.

The Steve Harvey morning show all the way.