Church Surrogate Father

Hello.

Hello, I'm trying to reach uh trying to reach Brother Robert.

That's speaking.

Hey, how you doing?

I'm uh I'm calling you from the church.

How you doing, brother?

Man, I'm doing super fantastic.

Any day above ground is a good day.

That's good.

That's good.

Hey, uh, hey, listen, man, we wanted to uh uh uh uh being one of the brothers of the church, I wanted to give you a call, man.

You didn't make it today, but you uh well, you know, your wife stood up today and uh asked us to keep y'all in our prayers because y'all uh definitely trying to bring a a new child into the world and and she let us know that you know uh uh she she's she's uh being a little older now, 41, 42, you know she said it takes a little longer to try and conceive a child than you know

in your earlier years.

So we we definitely wanted to let you know, man, that we we got y'all in our prayers, man.

Uh man, you just don't know how much we appreciate that, man.

Yeah, we've been trying, but I know with with prayers, all things are possible.

Yeah, well, we definitely wanna definitely want to keep you all in our prayers, man, and uh uh hope that you all able to conceive this child and bring, you know, bring bring bring bring a new uh new child into this world.

You know, the the book says be fruitful and multiply.

Definitely, definitely.

Man, who who is this again?

Brother's brother Arthur, Brother Arthur.

I don't know if you know me directly, but I'm I'm brother, one of the brothers at the church.

Oh, okay, okay, brother Arthur.

Thank you.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Brother Robert, what I want to ask you, man, was the have you considered any uh any alternatives, uh methods as far as you know, uh maybe helping this situation?

Uh we've Looked at a few, uh, what what what what are you referring to as an alternative?

Well, I mean, I I I think I have uh a good uh thing then that uh that might be able to help this thing speed up the process and and and and and you guys would be expecting in no time, man.

Man, we uh definitely open for some things like that.

What what you what you got in mind?

I mean, uh well, what I have is a little unorthodox, man, but I think if if you allow me to to to to help you on this, man, I think that you'll be definitely satisfied.

And you know, man, if if nine months from now you gotta be at the hospital waiting, looking for your baby boy, your baby girl, you know?

Well uh well, clarify an Orthodox.

Okay, um see what uh what I have in mind, man, is is have you considered maybe like a surrogate father?

Uh clarify clarify Sarah, because I I'm thinking the wrong thing.

I don't wan I just want to make sure we're on the same page.

What do you mean by Sarah the fuck?

Well, what it is, man, is you know, you know, of course, a surrogate mother is someone that will carry a child for those that cannot carry one.

You know what I'm saying?

Right.

Right.

So what what what what uh I've gone to the doctor and got myself checked out, man, good physical and everything.

I'm physically fit and everything.

And you know, maybe I guess the complications are coming from uh you as far as the child not being you know, you're not being able to conceive right now.

No, no, no, ain't that ain't nothing wrong with me, man.

Okay.

Now what you mean by you physically fit?

I mean, what what the hell they got to do with Sherry?

Well, see what I'm saying is if if if what you know, if you l if you allow me to come over and and and supply my services, I mean, let's say if you left for a weekend, man, and and I stayed over there by the time you get back, man.

What the f wrong with you?

Is is this what's going on at this church, man?

Am I at the real church?

They they you you telling me you try help me understand, you saying you want to come over and and and have sex with my wife?

Well, I mean, I mean, don't don't look at it like that.

Don't look at it like that.

Look at it as if I'm helping you all right.

Me indirectly, you just ain't use those words.

Excuse me then?

Okay.

You tell me you want to come have sex with my wife?

No, no, no.

I want to come over and just apply my services, man, and put you guys in a better position that you will be able to do.

You understand what I'm saying?

You understand where I'm coming from?

No, I don't.

Sound like you tell me you want to have sex with my life, man.

What the f is wrong with you, man?

Oh, hold on, hold on.

No, this this this brother awesome, man.

Listen, see what I'm what I'm trying to do.

Man, I don't give a f if you brother Charles.

Who the f is brother, man?

I don't know you.

And then you talking about the church.

What kind of shit this this and down at this church?

No, no, really, the church don't have nothing to do with this.

It's me calling you to lend you.

But you calling me saying that.

I'm trying to be if you allow me to be the surrogate father, I'll have her pregnant by the end of the week.

Man, you got me up.

As soon as I see I'm coming in Bible study accusing to see you, you show up at Bible study so I can see who the f you are.

Okay, okay, brother.

Guaranteeing you wanna have brother my wife.

Man, what kind of five?

You keep looking at that like that.

How is we gonna get this?

How are we gonna get past this so we can get you to this child, man?

We ain't gonna get past this.

You talking about having sex with my wife.

Where your wife at?

Brother, you ain't got no way.

So I I I have a wi a wife, brother Robert.

What I'm trying to do is help you along with yours and getting this child conceived.

That's what I'm trying to help.

You can't help me talking about having sex with my wife.

You said on Arthur that's a d I think you was going that far with it.

How you getting my phone number?

Well, you know, we we have people listed at the church.

We have all phone numbers listed.

These that's mine.

And when I get that to you, I hope to see you because I'm gonna punch you ass.

Hey, look, man, why don't I why don't I speak to your wife uh when she comes to church this week and I see how Man, don't say a thing to my wife.

Hold on, I'm just gonna talk to her and see how she feels about maybe maybe, you know, using this protection.

No, no, you can't say man, don't even look in her direction.

I need to see you myself.

Okay, what what what what is all the anger though, brother?

What what what you mean?

Okay, brother, I I I got one more thing I need to tell you.

Are you ready for can I say this?

Hey, you better hurry up or I'll hang up in your fake.

Okay, are you are you listening, brother Robert?

I've been listening.

I'm tired of this.

This is nephew Tommy from the Steve Harbin morning show.

You just got pranked by your wife.

Man, what you say.

Hey, man, Tommy, you see me doing like that, man.

I'm about to have a rest come to Kenny.

Well, ain't nobody in there.

I'm gonna go straight to his parents in the mouth.

Then look for you.

All right.

Hey, one more thing, man.

Tell me this.

What is?

What is the baddest?

I'm talking about the baddest radio show in the land.

The Steve Harvey Morning show with ignorant ass Steve and ignored ass nephew time.