Breast-milk eggnog for the potluck

uh this is Brian this is Brian I work with your sister Keeva okay uh we we've met a couple times

you just had a baby right oh yeah yeah so that must have been a long time ago i i sure did just

have a baby okay this is brian yeah brian congratulations how many months is it now

it's been three months since i've had him okay all right well congratulations to you listen we um

we're putting together a uh a potluck christmas party and we wanted to invite you out

oh okay is this some kind of surprise or something in my keyboard well i i i you know what i'm that

to call around since it's a potluck and make sure we get everybody to bring something what I wanted

to do is uh I told her she should invite her sister I'm sure your sister I was just saying

you probably haven't been able to get out since the baby and maybe you would want to get out a

little bit yeah you said that I've been trapped in this house with this baby oh and he oh you're

such a greedy baby but uh yeah I'm here a lot this is like my second child and I'm telling you he was

next week next Friday we're gonna throw it and we're not trying to do anything

too late probably around six o'clock everybody's gonna leave work a little

early but we're gonna all bring a little something to contribute to the party you

know whatever type of food or drinks or whatever so we just want to reach out

and give you an invitation I just need to see if I can get a babysitter I

haven't had to use a babysitter yet but I'll try I'll do my best for me it's my

y'all bringing? Well, some people are bringing finger food. Some people are bringing desserts,

nachos and things like that. So I guess a little bit of everything and everybody's just in the

Christmas spirit. We just gotta have a good time. Well, do I need to cook it myself or can I just

order something, have it delivered or something like that? You know, I'm full with this baby. I

can't get too much done while I'm here, but I'll be glad to contribute. Well, actually, we're

to get some because, you know, they're just full of this specialty shop.

They make some good homemade eggnog.

I can do eggnog.

Well, hang on.

We didn't want anything from a specialty shop.

We're real particular about having good eggnog.

We've always had good eggnog every year when we throw the big potluck Christmas party.

We wanted to see if you didn't mind making some eggnog from scratch.

But, you know, if you could really, really help us out, you know, using breast milk to do it.

well they make the best milk over there I know they use whole milk sometimes they use that

buttercream milk you know what I should get my aunt to make because she got a real good recipe

and I know she used the best milk there is I can get her to make some is that okay okay so

your mom has what kind of milk my auntie she makes the best eggnog and I know she used like

whole milk and buttermilk and stuff that's what I was thinking I don't know if Kiva told you but

breast milk we want breasts aren't you breastfeeding you you say breast as in b-r-e-a-s-t breast milk

breast milk yes yes wait a minute wait a minute yeah I'm breastfeeding but breast milk is for

babies adults people don't supposed to drink that if you if you're not no infant you're not supposed

to breast milk is the best milk see so what we was trying to do is get get the eggnog made with

breast milk and that's what wait a minute Brian you said your name is Brian yes I'm Brian okay

you must be white because because black folks don't drink breast milk that's for babies okay

I am not making eggnog with breast milk now breast milk is not what you get that is for my

newborn infant that sounds nasty unsterile why would I do that to other people what kind of

is that to have somebody to do I mean is there a way you can like pump out two gallons for us I

mean we're just we're about to end this conversation that is not something I'm about to do okay I am

I just wanted to see if it was something that you would do for us.

You know, maybe you could squeeze out a couple of gallons and we could.

I didn't, I didn't, I didn't tell keep exactly what I wanted, but I didn't think it was going

to be this much of a problem that you would have a problem with a couple of gallons.

So we can have a good time with real good milk.

Brian. Y'all work in corporate America. Surely you are smarter than that to be calling somebody

asking for some breast milk. Who does that? What you can do if you want some eggnog,

you can stop at the grocery store, get you some infamil or some Similac and make some

eggnog yourself if that's what you choose to do. But my breast milk, you can't even pay for it.

Okay. I don't get down like that. That's if I ever heard of it. You too intelligent to be

Selfish that you can't loan us a little bit of breast milk so we can have a great time with some eggnog at the party

Okay, you know what you know what concerned don't worry about we don't even want you at the party

If you're gonna bring the breast milk, you don't come to the party

Damn right. I don't need to come here on funky party and you tell kiva

This is some even have her friend call me

I am the party coordinator and kiva knows that that's and I try to be nice enough to invite you

Okay? Would you ask your wife or your girlfriend or whoever your baby mom is to do some s**t like that?

Would you expect somebody to ask her? You're disrespecting me asking me for some s**t like that.

Okay, you know what?

Brian, what is your last name? Because I'm failing to remember who you are because I'm sure going to ask you.

But Brian, Brian ain't really my name. I didn't really want to tell you my real name.

So you playing on the phone then? You probably don't even know my sister. Who is this?

I mean, I talked to your sister about 20 minutes ago. I talked to Keith.

because this is a I know that too clearly okay but I want to go and tell you this you know what

you're gonna get off my damn phone that's what you're gonna do Kiva told me to call because see

I am nephew Tommy from the Steve Harvey morning show and your sister Kiva got me to prank phone

call you you're talking about that nephew time that's on the tv and the radio