Church Tithes Under Audit

It really will.

And will a man rob God?

Yet ye have robbed me well in tithe and in offering.

Bring all you tithe into the storehouse.

We know how it goes.

You know the words.

Right there in Malachi.

Am I right or wrong?

So right here we ask, will a man rob God for read?

Check this out.

This ain't worth one dollar.

What's this?

One dollar.

No, no, we tried to do it the Lord's way.

Now we're gonna do it the good old 100 25th Street 7 Baptist.

Give us the money now.

Hey the Lord.

Hello?

Hello, I'm trying to read to Clarence.

Clarence.

Yeah, this is this Clarence.

Uh, how you doing, Clarence?

This is Thaddeus, man.

I'm over uh uh at the church, man, Mount C Baptist Church, uh, where you're a member of, right?

Oh yeah, hey, what's up, man?

Okay.

Hey, I'm with the GMs, man, and uh you you you actually came to uh to uh this past uh Easter service, correct?

You with the who?

Uh GMs, the GMs.

That's that's uh God's eyes missionary.

And and basically what we do is we watch what's going on, you know, in the um in the church, who's coming, who hasn't come, and uh, you know, I j I don't mean any harm, but this this if my records indicate me right, uh through um my God's eyes ministry, the GMs, uh looking at my books, looks like you you this is your first time at the church this year, correct?

Yeah.

Well I mean, what can I do for you?

Okay.

Now, when Pastor asked for all the visitors to stand, you actually did not stand, correct?

No, no, I'm a member.

Because you're a member.

There we go.

Now you you still work for um uh

You you you you work for them?

Yeah.

Okay.

Now what we've done is we've averaged it out that you

what is this what is this I mean, what is this about?

Okay, that I I'm on my way to it.

So so you probably are you um uh averaging about what between forty and fifty thousand dollars uh on a yearly basis over there with I mean I mean yeah something like that, but yeah, go ahead.

Uh what's the problem now?

See what we're looking at since since you are a member, because see you did not stand when he said all members and see you did not stand up, which which you right there uh making the we you know you you're you're clarifying that you are a member and you making about we're gonna roughly say about forty five thousand dollars a year, which means ten percent is forty five hundred.

Now, we looked at the we looked at the books and noticed that you put in fifty dollars in the church on this past Easter on s on Sunday.

Now, if you put fifty dollars in, you're nowhere close.

See, when you gonna start cutting into this forty five hundred dollars that you ought to be paying your tithes.

Wait, h what's your name?

I uh like I said, sir, my name is Thaddeus.

Thaddeus.

Will a man rob God yet ye have robbed me well in tie than it offered.

See you you you you are wait a minute, hold on, hold on a second.

You got you got all this stuff going on in the church.

You you got uh uh you got hungry people, you got people that need salvation and whatever, but you calling me about about some money that I haven't given to the church.

Well, well see and that's what your ministry does, y'all call y'all spend all morning calling people My My job, sir, as a gym, God's eyes ministry, my job is to keep an eye on what's going on at the church.

Now, when are you gonna start cutting into your tie?

You forty five hundred dollars that we see this is why we can't get the extra wing that pastor wants to put on, because people like you.

This is why

you know what?

Man, you got to hold on a second.

Um first of all, let me explain something to you, brother.

Uh Thaddeus or whatever the minister.

Thaddeus.

Okay, that's fine.

Listen.

Hey, I don't even have to explain this to you, but let me explain something to you.

All right.

Um this is a one-job household.

This is all we do.

This is a one-job household.

My wife don't work.

But my wife comes to church every Sunday and she pays the tithes.

Now have you checked as a gym ministry, have y'all looked at her ties.

Her tithes ain't got nothing to do with you.

You understand?

You have to pay your tithe.

Will a man rob God yet ye have robbed?

You are robbing the Lord uh of Brother Clarence.

You know what, man?

You know, that's you know, and you wonder why people don't come to church all the time.

Either how you gonna tell me that I rob I could be giving my tithe somewhere else.

I am the secretary.

I am the gym's secretary of God's eyes ministry, and my eyes have shown me that you've only given $50.

You're making $45,000.

You are

some dude from the church.

What's this doing?

Uh uh, I don't know, that is something.

I I tell you nothing.

Have you been paying tithe?

Who is it?

Yes, I have, but that's not none of their business.

That's I know.

I know, I know.

What does it have to do with him calling people and asking them if they're pants?

I got this.

I got this.

Let me let me let me handle that.

Yeah, you know, I got it.

I got it.

No, I got him, I got him, I got it.

I know, I know, I know.

Who who who who who who who was that, sir?

That's my wife that's been paying.

That's my wife's been paying our tithes.

That's right.

Okay.

Okay.

I don't have nothing in my books that say y'all paid $300.

No, we paid.

Not on a gun.

If she said we paid $300, we paid $300.

Okay.

Let me ask you this.

When are you gonna start cutting into this forty five will a man rob God?

Yet ye have robbed me.

That is what you are doing, sir.

Well, you know what?

You robbing me right now.

You robbing me right now of my time where I could go out.

I gotta be at work.

I can't even go get dressed right now because Because I'm on the phone with you.

I have to be at work in half an hour.

You robbing me right now of my time.

Let me ask you something.

Can you bring your tax return into the to so I can take a look at it?

My tax return, you know, I tell you what.

I bring my tax return if everybody else brings their tax return.

If you bring your tax return and Pastor bring his tax return, then I'll bring my tax return.

We can have a tax return party.

When will your tax return when can you can you fax it to me?

Are you serious?

I mean, I mean

if it's not too much to ask for listen, I'm gonna be honest with you.

The next time you do come to church, we're gonna pat you down.

Because we're gonna have to figure out.

Oh, hold on.

You're gonna pat me down the next time I come to church.

And then lay hands on you.

Okay, let me ask you this.

Do you are you on salary at the church?

Uh y yeah, but what does that mean?

Well, what then what does what does that have to do with anything?

I need to know what you tied in to do.

That ain't it ain't got look, look, it ain't got nothing.

When you gonna bring your $4,500 down so we can add it so we can get the wing put on.

I'm part of the gyms.

You bring your money down here, uh, Clarence.

Listen here, dog.

I let me tell you something.

I don't know who you are.

I don't know what this ministry is.

I'm with the gyms.

When can we expect man?

I don't I don't care.

I don't give a you know what?

Let me tell you something.

I don't care anything about the your gym ministry.

I don't care about you, man.

I don't care about any of that.

When you gonna pay this 10%, man.

Let me tell you something, dog.

Just for real.

Don't call my house number with this with this stuff.

You about to make a brother go off.

I mean, seriously.

See, in this economy, in this economy, you talk to me about about me tired and $50.

I'm trying to I'm trying to put a dollar through college.

I'm trying to send a son to private school, and I can't get that done.

I'm trying to keep the lights on over.

What do that have to do with the church?

I already told you.

I'm getting ready to hang up, and if you want to meet me and whatever you're gonna do and whatever, then that's fine.

So I need to tell you something else about your job.

You ain't gonna tell me nothing about my job.

You don't have to tell me nothing about my job.

I need to tell you something about your job.

Dude, I've been hanging up this phone.

Is there a man named Chapman at your job?

Yeah, I know.

Yes, yep, I've been at my job.

Okay.

Yeah, and he's been there too.

No, no, no, wait a minute.

Chapman is the one that got me to call you.

This is nephew Tommy from the Steve Harvey morning show, baby.

You just got pranked.

Man.

Man.

Look, man, I'm back.

Man, you got me feeling, you got me feeling guilty.

I mean, I'm I'm all in.

Oh, man.

With the with the with the gym ministry.

Yeah, but somebody's getting ready to get beat up at the today.

Somebody getting ready to get it.

Yeah, man.

Hey, I got one more thing to ask you, man.

What is the baddest?

And I'm talking about the baddest radio show in the land.

Obviously, it's the Steve Harvey morning show.