Dr. Petrie

We'll get into that strawberry letter in just a bit because right now it is time for the nephew and today's prank phone call.

Nephew Tommy.

What is on the menu today?

Well, we need to go to the doctor.

We we're not feeling well, Shirley.

Uh you know, when you have an ailment, you need to get on down there and get yourself checked out.

But right now we're gonna call and we're gonna let him know that Dr.

Petrie, I need some help.

Dr.

Petrie, I need

some help.

Cat doll.

Let's give Dr.

Petrie office a call.

Hello.

I'm trying to reach Dr.

Petrie, please.

This is Dr.

Petrie.

Dr.

Petrie, I'm I'm uh my n my name is uh Jared.

Jared.

And and I I was hoping you could help me out with a with a with a with a problem that I have.

Okay, hello Jared.

Um, I would love to help you out with a problem, unfortunately though.

You're Dr.

Petrie, right?

I am, but this is my personal number.

How did you get this number?

I somebody gave me this number so I could call you and and and and try to get some counseling from you, because I gotta I I mean, I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm really in a bad situation right now.

Okay, I I can I can recognize that that you're in a bad situation, but I how did you get my number?

This is my personal line.

Who gave you my number?

Are you you you the doctor, you the counselor to help people with with with with situations and problems and stuff, right?

Yes, I am, Jared.

What can I do for you, Jared?

Uh I got a a problem that uh it seemed like I'm just You know, I've been married to my wife for six years.

Okay, wait, wait, wait, Jared.

Now this what you're what you're about to get into, you're about to you want to go into a counseling session.

And so in order to do that, I do that through making an appointment.

I understand all of that, but you you you don't understand.

I'm trying to what I'm trying to tell you is that I I got a situation and I know it's gonna happen again tonight.

'Cause it's been happening all the time.

I'm I'm just I just need some if you could just give me a little bit of help and then I'll come in next week.

But I mean I just need you to tell me how to handle my problem and then I'll come in next week.

I just I just I need this bad right now.

Jared, Jared, Jared, I need you to focus.

Okay.

I don't do this over the phone.

I however, it sounds to me like you really need a I need you can you can you be there for me just for a minute?

Yes, I'm here right now.

Can you help me out?

Excuse me.

Hey, tell him I'll call him back.

This I don't know what's going on.

Someone gave this gentleman.

Hello?

Tell him I'll call him back.

Hello.

I'm here, Jared.

I'm here.

Dr.

P is Dr.

Petri.

I'm here.

Tell me tell him what's going on, Jared.

I'm here to listen to you.

Okay, listen.

I I've been I've been married to my wife for like six years now.

Okay, and and and I don't know what it is, but w whenever whenever we intimate, you know, I I I get scared and and I I go into the closet and and I got a TV in there and I watch old T V shows 'cause I'm scared.

I'm scared of the the intimacy between me and her.

Okay.

Uh Jared, this this sounds like a particular case.

Um it's different from anything that I've experienced thus far.

And I want to make sure that I address your

up in the big league.

Get not turned at bat.

What?

Long as we live, you and me, baby.

Ain't nothing wrong with that.

Oh.

Okay, Jared, focus.

You called me and you need me to help you.

It'd be bothering me.

Okay, Jared.

What I need to do is I need to make sure whatever three o'clock, four o'clock, rock.

Five, six, seven o'clock, eight o'clock, rock.

Nine six, seven o'clock, twelve four o'clock.

We're going rock.

Rop.

The clock tonight when the clock right two.

Three and four.

When the bear goes down.

Hey, hey, hey, hey,

Clark.

Tonight.

Breathe, Jared.

Breathe.

Oh my how did you get my number?

How did you get my personal number?

They gave me your number and said you you would be the one that would that would that would that would that would take care of me.

Come on.

I'm here.

Okay.

Let's take a different you knew where you were then girls were girls and men were men.

Let's get up together.

I want to help you.

I want to help you and I want to help your situation.

I want to help you with your wife.

But you you called me and I need if you're looking for a lifeline for an anchor, I'm trying to be that I need you to help me.

I need you to help me with my wife

I know my wife is gonna leave me if I don't quit doing this.

Here's the story of a lovely lady

bringing up three very lovely girls.

Jared my technique is a little bit different is it may be a little unorthodox.

If not for the courage of the fearless crew the mineral would be lost.

The middle would be lost the minnow Okay look here look here.

I need you to I need I need you to help me I need to get you into my office I need to schedule an appointment with you.

You need to erase my personal number from your cell phone because this is everybody knows your name Jared focus focus focus Jared focus.

Learning from each other while we do our thing then

gonna have A good time?

You know what, Jared?

My patience is fed up.

I have no more patience with you.

Now I need you to stay focused and get it together.

Why did you call me?

Why did you how did you get my number?

Why are you hollering at me?

Why do you supposed to be the doctor?

You supposed to be the doctor.

I am a doctor.

Don't question my credentials, young man.

You called me.

I want to help you, but this has gone on too far.

This is all.

Tommy, Tommy gave me your number.

Tommy, who?

Steve, you know Steve, don't you?

Now, look, I want to help you, but you are not allowing me to do so.

So who is Tommy?

Who is Stephen?

And how did you get my number?

Stephen is on the radio.

I don't know.

Steven on the

Stephen.

Stephen on the radio.

As in Steve Harry.

On the radio.

Oh, as in Tommy Matthew, Tommy.

Dr.

Petrie, you have been pranked.

Oh

no, you didn't go.

Oh my God.

Do you have a colleague named Charles?

You know what?

I'm gonna kill.

Ooh, look, that I can't believe Charlie did this to me.

Oh my God.

Do you know how much time I was?

You got ooh, you got me flustered.

I was recording you.

I hope you know that.

Oh, I gotta ask you something though.

What is the baddest, and I mean the baddest radio show in the land.

The Steve have a morning show, baby.

Oh my goodness.

Wow.

You know what?

I can't.

Sometimes I just can't get over how stupid I am.

Really?

Neither can we.

Neither.

Finally admitted.

My soul looks back in wonder how I got to each.

I just I just want to say it.

I'm stupid with a word.

The calls.

I am.

That's me.

That's me.

That's me.