I Want My Offering Back

Hello.

I need to speak to uh Sister Felicia Paderson.

Okay, who is this?

This right here is Glenn, all right.

This is Glenn.

I didn't this is Brother Glenn.

Can I speak to F Sister Felicia for Iveson, please?

Okay, sir.

Uh, how did you get my number?

I got your number from one of the deacons at the church.

Okay, what deacon was that?

I don't even know the digger name.

I'm out.

Listen, what I'm trying to ask you, I'm trying to ask you, can you uh reimburse me for some money that I put in church on Sunday?

Okay, well, can you just calm down just a little, please, sir?

Uh I'm I'm look, are you the financial person at the church?

Yes, I am, so what can I do for you?

I'm trying to get my money back that I put in church on Sunday.

I put a hundred dollars in church on Sunday, and I'm trying to get my hundred dollars back.

Okay, what did you not get from your heart?

I gave from my heart what I thought was gonna happen, but it didn't happen.

Okay, um

help me help you.

What you mean what didn't happen?

What didn't happen, sir?

Okay, Pastor wasn't there.

Pastor was not there on Sunday, and y'all had this uh guest per uh minister come in who I I didn't like him at all, but the the the dog on uh the offering was before he even got up to preach.

So I didn't already gave my offer, which was a hundred dollars, and then I I didn't even know Pastor wasn't there.

You know what I'm saying?

So here I am giving a hundred dollars.

I'm thinking I know I'm gonna get the word when Pastor there.

But y'all put this dude up, he coming from don't nobody come from the book of Ruth no more.

He from he was in Ruth, Leviticus.

He was all over the place.

I I want to get my hundred dollars.

I ain't giving to that.

Sir, do you not read the bulletin?

I mean, how often do you even come to church?

I come to church often.

I mean, what that got to do with anything?

Well, if you would come a little often and read the bulletins, sir, you would have known that Pastor took a vacation.

It it he took a vacation.

So everybody knew he wasn't gonna be there?

Yes, sir.

The regulars, the people that come regularly to church, they know that, sir.

Okay, well, I ain't know that.

So I need I need to get I need to get my money back.

Okay, what I need you to do though is calm down.

Oh, absolutely.

I'm I'm gonna I'm just trying to say I want to get my hundred dollars.

I'm not giving that sermon I got on Sunday.

I'm not giving no hundred dollars for that.

Well, sir, I cannot give you the hundred dollars back, okay?

We don't do no refund checks.

I can't do that.

Okay, I have to wait till Pastor get back in because two people have to sign a checks.

I can't even do that for you, sir.

Matter of fact, I'm not even at work right now.

Okay, so how am I gonna get my hundred dollars back?

Okay, sir, why don't you just call the church on tomorrow and then we can go from there, okay?

I'm not calling, I'm not calling the church tomorrow.

I tell you what, you know what?

You know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna come up there tomorrow and you're gonna give me my hundred dollars.

Either it's in a check or it's in cash.

But you, Mr.

uh uh sister Felicia Patterson, you're gonna give me my damn money.

Did you just cuss me?

What?

Did you just cuss me?

I just told you that come tomorrow, I'm coming up there to get my damn hundred dollars.

Whether it's in a check or whether it's in cash.

I don't care what it's in.

Let me tell you, Chubb sir.

You ain't getting nothing from us.

I dare you call here and cuss me.

Ask him for some money back.

You gotta you're giving your money from your heart, it doesn't matter preaching the word of God.

You give because you love God.

But if you ever talk to me like I'll strip you naked, you mean you you know what?

You better be glad you say 20 years ago because I'd have cussed you from eh?

But that's what he said, you know what?

I ain't gonna cuss you.

But I tell you what I will do, young man.

Well, I see you.

What'd you say, your name is again?

What did I say?

Brother Glenn, when I see you, I'm Give you a for the fellowship.

Do you hear me?

Come on, for something.

That's why you keep God's people.

You have been talking to me ever since I picked up the phone.

You ain't say hi, ma'am.

How you doing, ma'am?

Can you help me out?

You just start cussing and hollering at me.

You won't talk to people like that.

You don't even find like a Christian.

But you don't do that.

Did you hear me, right?

Now you want something people, you catch.

That's what the word says, you have not, cuz you catch not.

You're calling here hollering at me.

I I I I hear you.

Come call here, cussing at me.

Oh, Lord, help me.

Can I, Sister Felicia?

Can I please?

I mean, I just want to say something else to you if you don't mind.

Can I say something?

This ain't say nothing to me.

But do you know what you need to do?

Go get you some manners.

Yes, ma'am.

But I I but it's one more thing I just wanted to say to you.

Ain't no one more thing.

Ain't no one more thing.

Okay, but I just I just wanted to tell you this, Sister Felicia.

I want to hear me.

She ain't got nothing to tell me.

Yes, ma'am.

Yes, ma'am.

But I want to say this though.

This is nephew Tommy from the Steve Harvey morning show.

Your girlfriend, Sister Doris got me to play phone call you.

Oh my God.

I am going to get Doris.

Oh, yes, I am.

Tommy, it's uh Hello?

Steve in there with you.

No, no, ma'am, no ma'am.

Steve is not here with me.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm gonna need to have a five moment with Sister Dough.

Yeah, got to be fine.

But I got to share with her.

Yeah, don't just be me, her, and the law.

Sister Felicia.

She goes, you say, My girlfriend is blessed, highly favored, saved.

And she said, I want you to see if you feel fortunate.

But I did this police.

You you you rolled it out.

I'm gonna tell you.

But but you let me ask you something though.

Twenty years ago you you you it'll be a little different.

Oh, twenty years ago.

I'd have picked you up dropped you back down, looked at you and walked off of you after I got to cussing you out.

But that was twenty years ago.

Oh no, my legs were shaken.

Hold on.

I gotta ask you, what is the baddest and I mean the baddest radio show in the land.