Neighbor Hears You Having Sex

Hi, uh, Mr.

Noel, my name is Mr.

James.

I'm with the Border Patrol in San Diego, California.

Listen, uh, hate to give you a call here on on Sunday afternoon like this, but it's been brought to our attention, sir, that you have been let's say part of a group that's helping people get across the border.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

What?

What's hang on, hear me out now.

Um, I'm just saying, uh, it's been brought to our attention here at the uh Border Patrol headquarters here in San Diego, that uh, and I know you live in Los Angeles, but it's been brought to our attention that you have been helping people get across the border from Tijuana into San Diego.

Wait, wait a minute, then I didn't even I have even been close to the border, man.

What the f are you guys in here?

I don't even go near the border.

Okay, I I you must have run Noel.

Well, no, I think I have the right Noelle, sir.

But uh I'm just trying to get clarification here.

Now, let me lay it out a little bit more um clearly for you.

From my understanding is that uh I'm getting some uh I've got an anonymous call that you uh personally Say Mr.

Noel R is the one that has been helping people get across.

And you've helped over 80 plus people get from Tijuana into San Diego, uh, into the United States.

Man, let me tell you, how the f can help people get into the United States if I just told you they haven't even been close to the border.

What the f are you talking about?

What's wrong with you?

I mean, come on, you probably have the wrong Noel, man.

I don't, sir.

I don't have the wrong Noel.

How can I call Mr.

Noel R so you live in Los Angeles and it's been brought to my attention?

They've given me the correct number on you, sir.

I do have an address on you.

I want to try and see if we can get this clarified over the phone, but I will send a squad car out there and talk with you, and if things don't go well, I will have you brought in.

Now let me tell you, man, no, no, no.

Cut that man.

Let me tell you right now, I haven't even been near the border.

I don't know what the f you're talking about.

But let me tell you, if you are near the border, or if I were to be near the border there too, and I would see my people trying to cross over, if I were you, I would help them over.

Because they're the only ones that actually work over here on this side of the river.

Wait, wait, wait.

They are the only ones that what?

That work.

You guys don't want to do anything.

People here in the United States are lazy, man.

They don't want to do their yards, they don't want to make the restrooms, they don't want to serve in the restaurants.

Let me tell you, this is going down the tubes because we are the ones that make this country roll.

And I'm not saying that I'm trusting people over here.

I'm not saying that.

So get that through your fingers.

I'm not saying that.

All I'm saying is that you should appreciate what we do over here, and you're accusing me here.

Uh, sure, I am Noel, and I'm a hardworking person over here, but don't accuse me of any like that.

Okay, sir, sir.

Uh I'm not accusing you.

It's been brought to my attention, sir, that you, Mr.

Noel R are the one that's helping people get across the border.

Now, you did you just tell me that if you were at the border, you would help them?

Did you say that?

I said I would, but I didn't say I was doing it.

There's a big difference.

And I'm pretty sure you understand that because what the f is this?

I'm over here minding my own business, and you're telling me all this that people are telling you that I'm crossing like Illegally over here to this country.

Let me tell you one thing, man.

If you do not appreciate my people over here, don't accusing me of bringing them over here illegally.

Got that?

I I understand wholeheartedly what you're saying, but listen to me.

I'm gonna go ahead and send a squad car over there to your house and pick you up and bring you.

Look, look, look, no, no, no, no, no.

You listen to me.

If you send a squatter over here and they cross my yard, like you say I'm crossing people over from the border, you're gonna get your f kicked.

I'm gonna guarantee you that right now.

You gonna you're gonna do what?

You're gonna get your kick.

Me, like you don't understand my people.

I hope you understand Spanish, because if you work for the border patrol, I do not understand Spanish.

I don't understand the Spanish.

Don't you do that no more?

You gotta have to break this down to me in English.

No, let me tell you.

Understand my people?

Because look, man, it's I'm gonna tell you one more time and say,

Tomo Partico a la madre.

Did you understand?

What did I just tell you, Noelle?

I told you, do not speak to me no more in that language.

Now listen to me.

I said I'm gonna send a squad car coming over there, and they're gonna come up in there and drag you out your house and put you in the car and bring you downtown until we get it rectified.

No, no, no, no.

You listen to me.

This is the United States, and I have rights.

Oh, you got rights now.

Is that what you say?

Yes, I got right to say.

Do you have the right to be helping people across the border?

Hey man, let me tell you, those people have the right to better themselves, they say.

They have the right if they can get away with it to come over here.

I'm not saying that I'm helping them.

But what I'm saying is they have the right to better themselves, and you don't have the right to ruin their dreams, to say.

People got the right to come over here and better themselves, but what are you doing to better yourself, Noah?

What am I doing to say?

You don't even know me, you see?

You don't even know me.

Hey, like on my own, my own lawnmower service.

I do the hitches and everything, is that because you know what?

Because the f people here don't want to do it, I think.

And that's what they get people like me and like my people that come in from Mexico, and we do we ain't afraid of any any little bit of heat or getting dirty.

I got an oil

24-7 to say.

I got no problem with you having a law service.

I got a problem with you trying to get people across the border when they're not.

See, because you know what?

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

You ain't no uh a Caesar Chaves?

No, I'm not no Caesar Chavez.

I'm not leading any labor union or anything like that.

I'm just the guy that's trying to get it done over here, and you're accusing me, I said.

I I got one more thing I need to say to you, Mr.

Noel R.

What is that?

This is nephew Tommy from the Steve Harvey Morton Show.

You just got pranked by your boy Victor.

Fing Victor, I'm gonna kick his sick.

This ain't funny, I said

oh sh man, who's this guy right now?

This is Tommy.

I'm uh Tommy, we're gonna kick to a set because he's just

Victor.

He's my partner.

I know, I know he's your partner.

You put me up to it.

He said, You gotta call.

You see, when it you see, we're there in the truck, and we're listening to the show, the Steve Harvey show.

And you know, when you guys do like this, and he's laughing this up, and man, I never thought that he was like, Well, I'm gonna f up my partner over here, you know.

Oh, oh man!

Hey man, hey, let me ask you something, man.

What is the baddest radio show in the land?

God, the Steve Harvey show is that.

You gotta hold on a minute, okay?

All right, I got your phone, I'll give your wife a call.

Hello, hello.

Right now you're inebriated, sir.

Okay?

Right now I should be taking you in, but I'm not gonna do that.

You let me if she's able to come and pick you up, I'll let her come get you.