Show Your Butt

Number one, step forward.

This one right here, it don't need no introduction.

I'm not gonna even break the story down for you.

I'm just gonna give you the title.

Your butt.

Don't you crazy fool?

Literally.

This is one butt.

I could never cut.

Hello?

Hello.

I speak to Marcus.

Marcus, who is this?

Is this Marcus?

Man, who is this, man?

Is this Marcus?

Yeah, this Marcus.

What's up?

Hey, man, do you know anything about a uh a Lincoln being stolen?

A Lincoln being stolen?

No, man.

I don't know nothing about no Lincoln.

Who is this, man?

Do you know anything about a Lincoln getting stolen?

Man, who is this, man?

I don't know nothing about no Lincoln being stolen, man.

How you get my number, man?

Hey, dog, hold hold, slow down.

First of all, I'm trying to ask you.

Somebody done stole my mama Lincoln, man, and I'm asking, they say you know something about it, or you was one of them that did it.

Or do you know anything about a Lincoln?

Man, man, I don't know nothing about no motherfucking Lincoln being stolen, man.

Man, who just called my house with this here, man?

I don't know nothing about no Lincoln being stolen, man.

My name Craig, man.

Somebody stole my mama Lincoln, then they say you was one of the ones that probably had did it.

So I'm man, hold hold hold the fuck up, dog.

Who is who is who?

Who is who is who is we uh I don't know nothing about no motherfucking Lincoln being stolen, man.

Let me tell you something, man.

Call to my house with this here uh bullshit about a Lincoln, man.

Look, man, I'm on paper, man.

I don't do no I don't do no shit like that.

Still leaking this shit, man.

You know what I'm saying?

I don't I don't get out like that, man.

I don't know who told you that, man, or how you got my number, man, but I ain't stole your mama Lincoln, man.

Okay, hold up then.

Then then then you don't mind coming downtown, cause what happened was the lady next door saw who took it, and the dude uh they she say the dude jumped the fence and towed his pants, and the back pocket got towed out, but she saw the dude's butt.

So what we want you to do is come down and get in the lineup, and everybody gonna show that the lady says she know that butt when she sees it.

Oh man, oh hell no.

Man, you must be out your goddamn mind think I'm gonna come downtown in the first goddamn place, and I'm not finna come downtown to show my ass.

But what I will do.

you I show my ass on this motherfucking phone.

Now if you think your motherfucking mama Lincoln is at my house, you can come get that motherfucker.

I done been down before.

Say man, is your butt the one that she saw come over that fence, man?

That's all I want to know.

Who is you, man?

Who the fuck is you, man?

Call to my house, man, and

accusing me of leaving my ass print on your mama's gate, man, and stealing your mama's car.

Man, who the hell is you, man?

Are you crazy or something, man?

Listen, man, I'm not trying to go back and forth with you, dog.

I'm just trying to get to the bottom of who stole my mama's car, dog.

That's really what I'm trying to do.

You understand?

Man, cub, what are you talking about, man?

I ain't stole no goddamn Lincoln, man.

I ain't showing my ass.

You ain't got no problem showing your butt to this lady, man.

Cause the lady says she knows this butt when she see it, did you cry did you crawl over the fence and tear your pants and the lady saw your butt.

She know it when she sees it.

Man, look man, y'all tipping man.

You want to identify me by looking at my damn ass.

That's what she saw, man.

She saw the ass.

Well it wasn't my ass, man.

What what now you got my name?

No, no, no.

You Marcus, ain't you?

Yeah, I'm Markham.

Okay.

And don't quit acting like you ain't never been in no trouble before, man.

They already say you be getting in and out of trouble.

So what I want to know is is you the one stole my mama Lincoln man.

I done paid for what I done man.

You did but I ain't show your mama Lincoln man.

Hey man, let me tell you this right here.

I done been locked up man but I'm telling what I go again if you come down here trying to take my ass downtown and to show my ass to them white folk.

I'm not gonna have it man just because your mama car got stolen.

I ain't had nothing to do with that man.

Say man look either you gonna come downtown uh willingly or I'm gonna come to your house and drag you out man and bring you down there so this lady can see your butt man like I say you she know the butt when she sit now if it ain't your butt you ain't got nothing to worry about.

But you gonna have to come downtown and show us your ass.

Man man, who who who in the hell is you man?

You ain't no lawman you ain't no detective you Ain't no fire, man, man.

Who in the hell is you, man?

I'm the one trying to I'm I'm the person trying to figure out who stole my mama, Lincoln, man.

That's what I'm doing.

Man, I I tell you what, you can come over here to my house, man, and I'll show you my ass, man, because this is a motherfucking bullshit, man.

I ain't had nothing to do with this motherfucking bullshit, man.

And you're talking about bringing the law to my house and man, because this is a motherfucking bullshit, man.

I ain't had nothing to do with this motherfucking bullshit, man.

And you're talking about bringing the law to my house and taking my down taking my ass, man.

What kind of what kind of gay right shit this is, man?

I I I man, I'm telling you, I won't have nothing to do with your mama car being stolen, man.

But I ain't coming downtown to show my ass, man.

That's out the motherfucking question.

I ain't got no problem coming to get it.

Like that one thing I ain't got no problem doing.

Man, well come on and get my come on get my ass then.

Hey, man.

Hey, man, I'ma say it one more time.

We coming to your house, dragging you out and taking you downtown if you don't want to go by yourself.

Look, man, I ain't got no problem with that, man.

Cause I done been down, man.

Five years, six months, I done been down, man.

I done paid for my crime, man.

I done paid for my crime.

But ain't nobody finna come get me from my house talking about taking me downtown and showing my ass.

If you want my ass, you come to my house and I'm gonna give you my whole entire ass, man.

You hear me?

Because I ain't afraid to go back down, man.

I ain't afraid to go back down.

And I will go back down if you come over my house fucking with me about getting my ass scratched.

Hey, man, I'm just saying we need the lady just need to see it, man, to see if it's the right one or not the right one.

That's all you gotta do and put it down just a little bit so she can see it.

Man, I'm man, I man, I'm not finna do that, man.

I don't even know who the hell you are, man.

How do you even get my information, man?

How do you get my number, man?

You need to get out of my phone with this hill, man.

This is bullshit, man.

Hey man, you know what, man?

I'm not finna go back and forth with you no more.

You're gonna have to bring your butt down here to the station.

Or I'm coming down there and drag you out your house and take.

I'm through talking about this now.

You hear me?

Well, look, man, look, man, come on and get me, man.

You want my ass, man?

Come on and get me, man.

I ain't scared to go back to the penitentiary for putting something On your ass for trying to come and identify my ass.

You did?

Hey man, look at that.

I tell you what, man, I got one more thing I need to say to you.

This is nephew Tommy from the Steve Harbin Morning Show.

You just got pranked by your boy LJ.

Oh, hell no, man.

Hello?

Man, y'all.

Man, look, man.

Y'all had me thinking, man, I'm finna go back to this penitentiary, man.

And then you talking about my ass, man.

I didn't show no ass in the penitentiary, and I ain't gonna show none now, man.

Come on, man.

Come on, man.

All right, Marcus.

Look here, man.

I got one more thing I need to ask you, brother.

What is?

What is the baddest radio show in the land?

The Steve Harbin Morning Show.

They bad, man.

You see, they just got me, man.