A Two-Year-Old on SlimFast

Trying to reach Kathy, please.

Um, this is her.

Hi, Kathy.

This is Kirby.

I'm actually the um the owner at the daycare Mine's Daycare where your son comes.

Okay.

All right.

I'm sure you're familiar with my wife, Benita?

Yes, sir.

All right.

How you doing today?

I'm good.

Oh, how's uh uh little Lil Devon?

How's he doing?

He's good.

He's laying down taking a nap.

Okay.

You guys have been coming here, I guess about a year now, right?

Yes, since he was one.

Okay.

Listen, li I I wanted to give you a call.

I'm looking at some some information.

How how how is how is Devon doing at home?

Is he is he eating properly at home?

What when you say eating, what do you mean?

I mean is he using is he getting uh uh uh meals every time he's supposed to get them at while he's at home?

Yeah.

Okay, now there's there's there's no situation where you guys may be uh uh shortage of food or anything like that, are you?

Uh wait a minute.

Shortage of food?

No, sir.

My husband works real good.

We don't have a problem with a shortage of food.

Is there a problem with him?

Well, you know, we're we're looking at the records and and look little Devon is two.

Yes, sir.

Have you looked at the comparison of uh two year olds, the majority of two year olds in in comparison to I I guess I should say size in comparison to to Devon's size?

You mean like in body weight, body size?

Yeah, I mean, he's a little tall, you know.

He wasn't a small child when he was born, he was ten pounds, but no, he's on the scale of right where he should be.

He's just a little, you know, taller because his daddy is tall.

But he's doing Okay, uh you so you you're you don't think he's anywhere in the in the ballpark of of of uh of obesity.

At two?

You mean fat?

I mean, I didn't want to be blunt, but but but Miss Kathy, you're

I mean, I mean your son's a l let me just say, on a Sunday, I'm relaxing.

Texas and we talking about you think my son is a a little overweight or or what?

He's what's the problem?

Uh well I mean I I I I think he's fat, you know, and and and the problem I'm having here is that I'm noticing the records of everything as possible.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

We need to back up to you think he's fat.

I've never spoken to you.

Mr.

Kirby, is that what she said?

My name is Kirby.

Okay.

So every morning that I dropped him off for a year and I give my daycare money, Miss Benita has never said anything about his eating habits.

So you're telling me that you think my son is fat?

Well, wait, wait.

You deal with him on a daily basis?

I don't deal with him on a daily basis.

What I'm looking at is records that are showing me that he's eating way more than the rest of anybody at the daycare.

And not only that, he's drinking probably a gallon of milk a day.

A gallon of milk.

Y'all only get snacks two times a day, and he's there only for breakfast and lunch.

And how in the hell is he drinking a gallon of milk?

And if he is drinking a gallon of milk, do you need me to get a gallon?

Yes, ma'am, but all I know is this.

No, no, I'm blown away by this because you calling me on a Sunday calling my damn child fat.

That's the problem.

And your wife has never said a damn thing.

Never has she said one thing to me in a year when she collected my damn daycare money.

She ain't said my son is eating y'all at a house and home.

Okay, well, you know what?

My wife's a different person and she tries to be cordial with everyone.

She's the one who deals with me, Mr.

Kirby.

I've never met you.

Never met you.

Especially on a Sunday.

The reason why I'm calling you on a Sunday, ma'am, is that I know tomorrow if I you're gonna be trying to drop your son off.

Oh, I am gonna drop him off.

I am gonna drop him off.

No, no, that's that's kind of the reason why I'm calling you.

Now here's what we can do.

There's two alternatives here.

Either you can keep him at home.

No, I'm not keeping him at home.

My husband works and I work.

I'm dropping my damn son off at six thirty like I do every morning.

I'm telling you that your son is too big to be he's too big.

His fat is coming every morning if that's the case.

And if he's eating at a house at home, I'll send him some extra.

But what I pay my money for is what you gonna feed him for.

Two full meals and two snacks.

And if he needs extra, I'll put some in his bag.

But he's drinking a gallon of milk a day.

I don't care.

I don't care.

There's no way possible that he can drink a gallon of milk a day.

Y'all ma'am here's here's here's the deal.

I don't want you to have to stop bringing your son in.

And I'm not and I'm not here's my second alternative.

I will put him on a diet, okay?

I'll give him an apple in the day.

You ain't no damn doctor.

You ain't are you from the health food program I will I will give him an apple and a glass of water in the morning and I'll give him an apple and a glass of water in the evening and then you guys can feed him when he gets home.

You must be certified in the food program, especially if you're sitting up here telling me my damn son is going on a diet and he's not drinking no water and no apple.

He needs a full snack.

If the other kids is having an apple and water then that's what you better be serving him.

But if that ain't the case then hell no he better get the full snack.

So if that's graham crackers and apple juice well damn it that's what my son better be getting and if he wants extra he better get it.

Ma'am listen all I'm trying to tell you is your son drank too much

he drinks too much milk on a day on a daily basis.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa you need to back at the stop I know you did not cuss at me.

I know you I did not cuss at you I caught myself

ready to cuss at me let me tell you one thing.

You ain't got to worry about it.

We don't have nothing else to talk about my husband, me, your wife and everybody that works at damn daycare better be there in the morning because at 6 30 we gonna be there and my son he's coming all

week and he gon' eat all week.

If he wants two gallons of milk he gon'rink it.

If he wants two plates of food, he gon' get it because I tell you what we pay damn good money to come to that daycare.

So let me explain something if you're gonna bring your child up there that I'm gonna have to put him on some swim pads.

Now I I will put your child on Slim fast.

I was trying not to go to this perspective, but I will.

Give him some slim fast and you're gonna get a slim fast whooping.

I'm gonna whoop your and whoever gave it to him.

Whoever gave it to him, they're gonna get a slim fast whooping.

All them little kids better have some slim fast.

If he's getting some, he better eat whatever they eat.

If they eat steak, well damn it, he better have some too.

If we had steak, he probably eat the whole damn cow.

I don't care.

I pay for it, but he better not get no slim fast.

I will shut it the f down about my child.

Okay, I I got something else you need to know about your son.

What the f else do I need to know besides you think my son is

overweight?

What the f else can you tell me today?

I need to tell you this.

I need to tell you that this is nephew Tommy from the Steve Harvey morning show.

Your girlfriend Lacretia got me to prank on call you.

What the f did you just say?

What the f did you just say?

This is nephew Tommy from the Steve Harvey morning show.

Your girlfriend Lacretia got me to prank phone call you.

I'm gonna be that to death.

She knows I don't play about my damn son at all.

That's my only son.

I don't play about him.

I'ma be there.

Is she there?

No, can you hear me?

It's on after this.

It's on.

It's on.

It is on.

Hey, I got one more thing I gotta ask you, baby.

What is?

What is the baddest?

And I mean the baddest radio show in the land.

Steve Harvey Morning Show.