Your Son Needs Deodorant

Hello.

Hello.

I'm trying to reach Vanessa, please.

This is she.

Hi, Vanessa.

My name is Robert.

I'm the um uh one of the owners.

You know my wife, Michelle.

We own the uh yes, yes, yes, yes.

How can I help you?

Okay.

We've been uh I think we've had your son Malik probably for close to a year now, am I right?

Yes, you have.

Is everything okay?

No, everything's fine.

Everything is fine.

I don't think we uh we have a problem that we can't clear up.

Um

I have a question for you.

If have you been noticing anything different about Malik, um uh like concerning hygiene and all?

Hygiene, no.

Not that I can recall what are you talking about?

Okay, how old is Malik?

He's two.

Okay.

It seems like every day here lately for the last two months, uh Malik has been, you know, very uh musty.

You know, he hasn't been really sweaty, but just real musty.

Okay, you clearly have the wrong child because I give my son a bath every night and most mornings before he leaves the school, I give him another bath again.

So yeah, I'm pretty positive you have the wrong child.

No, ma'am, your son is Malik, right?

And he's he's two years old.

You guys have been here with us right close to a year now, correct?

Yes, and

he's cute little kid with the curly hair.

I know exactly which one he is.

So what I'm what I'm saying to you is that we are having problems.

He's just he's just reeking.

You know, he's real musty.

Okay, you know what my son does not reek.

I don't know what child you're talking about, but you're not talking about my child.

I just told you and make sure that he gets a bath every night.

So that's not my child.

My child is very clean.

Okay, well what hang on, Vanessa.

What I'm trying to get you to understand is I'm trying to this is why my wife didn't want to call.

Okay, and I'm glad I'm actually the one that made the call.

What we need to do, this is what I'm gonna do.

I'm just gonna try a little experiment for the next month or so.

Experiment.

I'm sorry.

Well w what what do you mean experiment?

What kind of experiment?

Well, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna put some male deodorant.

On him for the next well, just for the next month, and we'll see how it plays out.

No, no, no, no.

You're not you're not gonna put anything on my child.

That's not gonna happen.

Okay, well, ma'am, I'm trying to I'm trying to fix the problem here.

I just wanted to call.

He doesn't have a problem.

I already told you that my son is clean.

You're not gonna put any deodorant on him, and if you do, it's gonna be a problem.

Do you understand me?

Okay, ma'am.

I'm not trying to have an argument with you.

What I want you to know is I'm not trying to have an argument either, but you're trying to you're talking about putting deodorant on my child.

You f crazy.

You can't do that.

I'm not gonna have that happen then.

Please don't make me have to come now to that school for you and your wife.

Okay, ma'am.

Um listen, we're gonna have to do something about your child.

Your child is musty, okay?

And you're sitting here getting an attitude with me, and I'm trying to let you know your child is musty.

Maybe you're the one that's musty.

Maybe you and your wife are musty.

My child is not musty.

I keep telling you that I bathe him every night.

Which part of that do you don't you understand?

I understand everything that you're saying.

Uh maybe it's the soap.

Maybe something is not taking effect.

I'm not sure.

Okay?

Maybe he doesn't smell it right because I don't know what child you're smelling, but you're not smelling my child.

You are not using male deodorant on my child.

Do I need to come down there for you with the cops and suit your entire establishment?

You don't want that to happen.

Stay away from my child.

Are you crazy?

You know, matter of fact, where's my son?

Ma'am, your son is fine.

Your son is in there with the rest of the kids.

They're playing.

I you know, today is the first day I sprayed a little bit of male deodorant on your own.

You said what?

Okay, you see, you clear crazy.

Look, Cheryl.

Sher, can can you cover for me for a couple of minutes?

I'm I'm I'm bringing my there right now.

I'll be there within an hour because you must be crazy.

What do you mean you sprayed my son?

Ma'am, I just sprayed a little bit of deodorant on him just to see if we can if we're not.

I didn't give you permission to do that, and I keep telling you that there's nothing wrong with my child, and you took it upon yourself to go and spray my child, and you weren't supposed to do that.

Are you f crazy?

I'm bringing my right now.

Okay, well, what are you coming here for?

The boy is your son Malik is fine.

Why are you coming here?

No, he's clearly not fine.

If you're going around spraying sh, why don't you spray sh on your 'cause clearly it's your smelling.

And reeking and funky as hell.

I ain't give you no to say sh my child.

I'm gonna come down there and I promise you.

I promise you I'm gonna shoot all y'all because you're gonna f crazy.

Okay, let me say this, ma'am.

Your son is musty.

He's been reeking for the last time.

My son is not musty.

How many times I got excited that he's not musty.

You know what?

I ain't even trying to hear your bcause you you you clearly crazy.

How do you go about spraying people's kids?

I don't with my child.

Did you smell the other kids?

You know what?

I'm about to get in my car and come down there for your fuse.

You must be crazy.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Why did you hang up on me?

I'm trying to fix the problem, ma'am.

Wait, wait, wait.

Well, what the f you want?

I told you that I'm coming down that I'll be there in ten minutes.

But I needed to let you know one more thing that's going on here.

What could you possibly need to let me know?

Because I'm on my way to your right now.

Where are you now?

Are you in your car?

Where are you?

I am heading to my car, about to get in my car to come down there for you must be crazy.

Spraying my child.

Before you get to your car, I need I need to tell you one more thing about your son, okay?

Please, what the f you possibly have to tell me.

I want to tell you that this is listen to me.

This is nephew Tommy from Steve Harvey Morning Show.

Your girlfriend Cheryl got me the prank phone call you.

That

I'm standing here in the parking lot about to come down there for and that knew exactly what I was about.

I'ma get her.

I was gonna get her because I'm niggas, I know my child is musty.

I know my child is clean and he don't smell a get her.

I just talked to her.

She said she's right here in her cubicle.

You gotta call her right now.

I said, okay, just chill out.

I will call her.

Uh we don't get a you don't know.

Is is Malik nice and clean?

Malik is always nice and clean and Smelling right, so I didn't know what the hell you were talking about.

I was like, not my child, he got the wrong child.

You were about to get it, you don't even know.

Oh man.