Happy Endings

What you got for us, Neff?

Well, I feel I feel like having some happy endings.

That's what I feel like.

Happy ending.

What?

What?

What?

So the title of this is Happy Ending.

Yeah.

Here we go.

Come on, Kevin.

Hello, f<unk>ing therapy and shooty speaking.

How may I help you?

Uh yeah, I'm I'm trying to come in and get some uh some therapy done.

I was in an accident at my job.

You know, I got injured like a week and a half ago.

I ain't been able to go back to work for my back and my leg.

They say, you know, I haven't broke any bones or nothing, but it's you know, it's real sore, real stiff, and hard to get out of bed.

So I wanted to see, you know, what it take to uh to get a therapist and get start getting some type of treatment.

Okay, well, sir, what we typically do is we ask for our patients to come in, you know, check out our facility, and so we can also assess you um, you know, see where the damage is, the majority of it, and you know, then get you to a therapist.

So if you would like to come in, we can definitely do that for you.

Okay.

Do you know what the therapist actually do when they doing the treatment?

Well, if you come in, sir, we can definitely direct you um to any of our three therapists that we have on site right now.

Uh-huh.

Um but each one specializes in a particular um field.

So it's more beneficial for you if you come in and then we can assess you and then direct you to that particular therapist, okay?

Okay, so you so how many of y'all do y'all have?

We have three.

There's Marty, Brenda, and Cecilia here.

Okay.

The person that uh referred me to y'all told me that Cecilia was the one that that had worked on is there a way I could talk to C to to Cecilia?

Typically we normally ask our patients to come in, but let me see if she's available right now.

I know earlier she was with a patient, so let me just check really quick.

Um and if she is available, then I can I can transfer you, okay?

Oh okay, okay.

I I'll just hold on.

Okay, hold on.

Hi, this is Cecilia.

Uh yeah, Miss Cecilia, uh trying to come up there and get some therapy done.

I heard my back and my leg at work.

I mean they are they already told me wasn't nothing broke or nothing, but I wanted to see what exactly do y'all do as far as physical therapy, you know, what what exactly will I be doing?

Well, when you come in we'll do a consultation and um, you know, we'll massage you and take x rays and put you in a whirlpool tub and there's several different things that we can do for you.

Okay.

Oh wow.

Well you need to come in as soon as possible 'cause that's sound like that's pretty bad.

Okay.

Well w well let me ask you this here.

After people get through doing uh the therapy, do do y'all have Uh uh happy endings.

Happy endings.

What do you mean by happy endings?

H happy endings like you know, when therapy is over with, you know, do would you yourself you know, would you do happy endings at the end?

Okay, I'm I'm still not understanding what do you mean by happy endings.

What are you talking about?

Okay, say like if I come over there and go through a session or whatever for about an hour, when we get through, you know, will you kinda like, you know, close the door and and and you know, make you know, do happy endings, you know, m and make me feel good.

Okay.

Um

close the door.

Uh I'm still not quite understanding what you mean by happy ending, sir.

Okay, what I'm trying to say is like when we get through with the procedure, uh, you know, make me feel good in a in a in a nice uh, you know, sexual way, you know, happy endings.

Uh when Judy sent you uh back to me, w what are we talking about with this happy ending thing?

'cause I don't I don't know I didn't I didn't ask her nothing about the happy endings.

That that right there's just gonna be between me and you.

Well see, I don't I don't play that c I don't I don't care.

This is a place of business.

We're professional here.

We do therapy for people who are seriously fing hurt.

This is not the the nearest bar.

What the f you talking about happy endings after we finish with that?

Well what what kind of place do you think this is?

Well, I mean I know it's I know it's therapy, but I mean i i if people going through that much pain at least have some type of happy endings, don't you think?

Well, I think you might suggest your significant other.

Okay, so you wouldn't be up for doing the happy ending part?

Hell no, I ain't interested in that m what c man, what kind of b this?

You call about talking about you hurt.

Hell if you hurt, you shouldn't be even talking about the ending.

You talking about Okay, hold on.

I mean you're not talking to me professionally.

Well, you coming at me with this happy ending ain't uh professional at all either.

What kind of place you think we run in over here?

Uh okay, hold up.

I was referred to you.

I'm thinking you You know, the guy telling me, you know, you're gonna take care of me.

What guy told you like this?

I'm sorry.

What told you some like this?

You know what?

Let's not even go into there, because I don't even want to bring him into this.

Can you satisfy me after East?

I'm gonna tip you a little bit too.

Man, have you lost your everlasting marble mind?

Are you gone crazy?

Judy.

Julie, who in the hell is this on the g phone that you done sit through me thinking this is the d happy ending place?

Wait, wait.

Who is this?

Miss Cecilia, she don't she don't know nothing about the happy ending part.

It don't matter.

You you you the receptionist.

You know what?

You on the borderline of losing your job.

Hello, hello?

Miss Cecilia, can I just tell you who who who referred me?

Who?

Who?

Who in the f told you that I have happy endings for anybody?

Because the only person I have happy endings for is my husband.

Okay.

So who?

Who was it?

Miss Cecilia.

Nephew Tommy from the Steve Harvey morning show.

Your girlfriend Karen got me the prank phone call you.

Y'all full of b y'all in here getting me ready.

I'm about to find a g receptionist.

I got folks in the lobbies.

You gotta call me on my job with your

I'm a kid cut.

This is a dick don't make no sense.

Mrs.

Celia, she told me, she said my girlfriend patience is short.

Darry.

Oh, it's on.

She's gonna need her up.

That's all right.

I got something for her.

Oh, you got some happy endings for I I got some happy endings for her.

You just wait.

I be

Cecilia, you gotta tell me this, baby.

What is the baddest and I mean the baddest radio show in the land?

The Steve Harvey morning show.

Crazy.

Somebody make somebody happy today.

Y'all go out there and make somebody happy today.

Okay.

Please.

Please go make somebody happy today.

You too.

You too can do can be a uh uh something positive in somebody's life.

Let's just make somebody happy today.

That's it.

Be quiet.

You played.