Johnsons Not Free

What you got for us, Neff?

This right here is Johnson's Freedom Paper.

Johnson

Freedom Paper.

Yes.

Let's go, Kat.

Hello.

Hello, I'm trying to reach uh Franklin, Franklin Johnson please.

Uh, yeah, this is him.

Franklin, uh, how you doing today?

My name is uh my name is Kyle Kyle Green.

I'm with the uh immigration department of the state of uh Tennessee?

Uh yeah, how could I help you?

Now you were you were born and raised in Tennessee, am I correct?

Yeah, born and raised in Tennessee.

Okay.

Now do you do you still live in in the Tennessee area now or are you in a different state?

I'm right in Memphis.

Still here.

All my family, all the Johnsons, he's still here living good.

Okay.

All right.

So here's what's going on.

Um it's been brought to our attention here at the Immigration that anyone in the state of Tennessee who has the last name of Johnson, um

I and I don't even know how to break this to you or tell this to you, but it's it's been brought to our attention here at the immigration that anyone in the state of Tennessee, last name Johnson, for some reason, and we're gonna fix the problem, but for some reason they're saying no Johnsons are free.

You know, like there's some clause or something and some paperwork or whatever, but what we need is we need all the Johnsons to come in by six o'clock by six o'clock today so we can try to take care of the problem.

If not, if if all Johnsons that are not reported in by six will have to get picked up.

I know this is a joke.

Like we we've been I know this is joke, baby.

I'm free.

What are you talking about?

Like well you calling me talking about

you talking about the Johnsons ain't free.

What do you what are you talking about?

Because you saw Plumpy Johnson Godfather I don't know anybody attacking Johnson's now

sorry this is this is a real this is I I know this is a crazy to get a phone call like this but like I say it's it's we got some paperwork here everybody's scramming around trying to get to the bottom of this but bottom line is we need all the Johnsons to come in because uh right right now in the state of Tennessee no person with the last name of Johnson is free right now.

Hey get the f out of here what are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

Are you black?

Yeah, I'm black, but yeah, I I'm black.

Are you free?

Yeah, I'm free.

So what are you talking about coming to me talking about since my last name's Johnson?

My family gotta come down to immigration because we ain't free.

Who the hell are you calling me talking about some crap like that, man?

Okay, sir.

The problem we're gonna fix the problem, but we need all Johnsons to come in.

We're gonna fix it.

Who are you the head of the paper?

I'm sorry?

Are you the head of the census?

Oh no, I'm not.

Something like that.

Like, why are you calling me talking about Johnson?

This it you are some Uncle Tom ass pulling me talking about Johnson that we ain't free.

And we gotta come down and you you threatening my family.

This guy's not a good thing.

Sir, I'm not I'm not sir.

I'm not I'm not threatening you.

Alright, like I said, my name is Kyle Green.

I'm with immigration.

I'm just trying to fix the problem.

You know, I'm better than me because your name is Green.

So y'all came only down to the Johnson.

Sir, I'm not saying I'm better than you because my last name is Green.

I'm saying we have a.

You are so saying that, Kyle.

Mr.

Green.

My name is Johnson.

We come from a long line of Johnson's, and don't let me have to bumpy Johnson on you because you saw how he was cutting my throat.

Don't play with me.

Okay, sir.

Can we uh I want to help you and I want to help all the jobs, okay?

You ain't helping nobody but yourself, Mr.

Green.

You Uncle Tom.

I saw y'all likes in Django.

The house mowed.

I bet you on them light-skinned green-eyed Terrence Howard looking motherfuckers.

I'm blacking.

I got a wide nose, and I'm proud to be black.

And they gonna have your life and ask for me to come out and bring my my family down there?

You got some guys with nerves.

It's all this probabilism amongst us.

Okay.

Sir, can I expect you to come down to immigration at 64?

Like a light-skinned motherfucking Kyle Gray.

That sounds light skin.

Sir, can I get you to come down to immigration by the time?

Nah, you cannot have me come there.

I'm gonna come down there with my God whole whole bunch of Johnson's and we're gonna turn it up.

Okay, so

is your wife last name Johnson too?

Don't worry about what my wife's last name is.

Don't try to set her up.

Okay, is your is your mother still living?

Don't worry about my mama still living.

You don't have to, I'm about to hang this guy's on up.

You squash me, you you you done crossed the line, you light-skinned motherfuck.

Okay, okay, sir.

All I know is that, you know, we got you, we were trying to get as many Johnson as we could to come in.

Tommy, Tommy is the one that told us to call you.

Okay?

Franklin, that's who told us to call you.

Who?

Tommy said you you probably want to call Franklin Johnson and get him on the line, because he you know a lot of the other Johnson and you can get them all to come in.

That's what they do.

No, no, no.

What you think I you think I'm that motherfucker that's gonna round them all the Johnson?

That's how they came over from Africa.

It was one black mother that got taken all of the boats talking about they was going on vacation and they came all in over here.

I'm not rounding them no god Johnson.

Who the hell is Tommy?

Tommy, man, Tommy said you would do it.

Tommy said you would be cool with it.

I don't know no god Tommy.

He sounds light skin too.

Okay, do you know, do you know nephew Tommy from the Steve Harvey Morning Show?

Do you know that mother f

I got my blood pressure?

Hey man.

Oh man, hey Franklin.

Yes.

Hey, Franklin, take this out, man.

Your boy J.

Rob is the one that got me the prank phone call, you man.

Oh, he ain't he he ain't allowed over to the barbecue no more, man.

Was he a whiskey?

Was he was he was he drinking some of that whiskey when he called you, man?

I don't know what he was when I called him, bro.

He wanted me to make so he's Frank Franklin.

Jesus Christ.

Oh, man.

And you gotta tell me this right here, Frank.

Give it to me, baby.

Franklin Johnson.

You gotta tell me this.

What is the bad?

And I mean the bad radio show in the night.

The Steve Harvey show with nephew Tommy.

Really, Tommy?

You went there on him.

Hey, Tommy, but you know what?

Tommy.

He had you shook up a little bit though.

He sounded like he had you all balance a little bit.

Because he was serious with it.

Yeah.

Bumpy Johnson when he said.

Oh, okay.

Oh, you think I'm gonna round up all the Johnsons?

I ain't that blankety blank.

See, you light skinned, ain't you?

You probably one of them light-skinned Terrence Howard looking ass, boy.

Green eye.

Boy, boy.

Good hair.

Boy, boy, he was mad.

He was hot.

Kyle Green.

Sound light skinned.

Yeah.

Hey, hey, man, is your is your wife last name, John?

Don't worry about my wife.

Is your mother still?

See, man, you don't cross the line now.

Man.

Yes, sir.

He was gonna come down there and

found it.

Yes, sir.

All the Johnsons to come down so we can get these papers together, but y'all, y'all not free.

Hold on, man.

Is you black?

Yeah.

Oh, so you done got your Uncle Tom ass.

Now you don't round up.

See, that's you that you was on Django.

He was

right, right, right.

All his reference was light skinned, Terrence Howard, Jane Go.

You a house in.

You an Uncle Tom.

He had

Tommy, he was through with you.

Yeah, he was.

He was.