Black Eyed Peas Made Me Sick

Hello.

Hello, I'm trying to f uh find a uh Heather.

Excuse me, what you say?

I'm trying to reach a Heather.

Is it?

How are you?

Okay.

Okay, listen.

Uh I got your number from uh from Lois.

That's my mama.

I'm Marit.

I'm Lois' oldest son.

Wait a minute, wait a minute now.

Wait, wait, excuse me.

Lois, who's Lois?

Okay, wait, Lois, Lois, Lois.

Yes, yes, yes.

Hi, how are you?

I'm good.

You we you you you you was at uh at Mama Dean's house on um on New Year's Day?

Yes, yes.

Everybody was there.

Okay, when I got what I got there, you was gone.

But what I'm what I'm calling about is you the one made the black eyed peas, right?

I did.

You enjoyed them?

No, I enjoyed a mother thing.

That's why I'm calling you.

Okay, wait, no, no.

Let me say this here.

Let me say this.

No, no, no.

I'm at work.

You can't talk to me like this.

Don't do that.

Don't do that.

Say whatever you gotta say, but please don't curse at me.

Don't do that.

No, okay.

No, no.

Here go the deal.

Your mother beans got my partner.

I ain't got no damn insurance or none of this.

You know, this this this had me messed up for the last week.

Okay, so I had no idea.

You know how f up your damn beans is.

Okay.

First of all, okay.

I told your ass I'm at work.

I'm around all these white people.

I can't talk to you the way I want to talk to you.

But let me just tell you this.

Don't call me with the dumb s first of all, there's a whole bunch of food there.

How do you know?

How can you single out my damn beans that made you sit with all that guy food there?

You're not gonna blame me.

Get the f out of here.

I don't give a f you Mama Dean said.

It was all this food there, and you gonna single out my beans.

Nobody else complained.

You know what the day's date is?

Okay, and not one other person called me about them beans.

And by the as a matter of fact, other people were complimenting me.

So for you to call me with the dumb all late and wrong, gonna blame me pie because you need a doctor's appointment.

You should have got Obamacare when it was available to you, and now you wanna call me with none no no no no no.

So you can tell no one.

Somebody else's food.

And at the end of the day, you're gonna give me some money.

What doctor bill?

You said you don't have insurance.

So how do the hell did you go to the doctor with no insurance?

I had to pay out my pocket to get my stomach pumped.

Okay, well taken care of.

If you pay it off your pocket, that means the bill is paid.

So you can get it.

And you gonna reimburse me while you're gonna do it.

No, I'm not gonna reimburse you with sh, okay?

In fact, I got more beans for you since you got a problem with 'em.

I got a whole bowl for you, okay?

How about?

'Cause you full of sh so if it made you s then's good for you.

Hey, look, look, I look I'm gonna tell you this here right now.

Uh the bill was four hundred and seventy two dollars.

I need four hundred

No.

Okay.

No.

No.

No.

You're not getting no money from me.

And I need to go because I got work to do.

I don't know what you got to do, spending all this time on the fing phone, talking about some beans with all that food.

So the rice didn't do it.

The meat didn't do it.

They had uh smothered gravy.

Gravy always f people up.

That didn't do it.

You wanna single out my beans?

F out of here.

Don't be calling me with this dumb.

You know what now?

Tell me who gave me your number.

Because I don't even know you.

I do know your mom.

A little bit.

Mama's gonna Mama Dean gave me your number.

I call mama.

So Mama Dean passing out numbers.

Well, I'm gonna call Mama Dean.

And I'ma see if anybody else got sick, which I know they didn't, because your ass is full of s.

So I'ma call her, see if anybody got sick.

How about we do it that way?

And also I'm gonna call your mother.

Okay, I'm gonna call Miss Lois and see why her b ass son is calling me on the phone because this is some bull.

I'm fing sick and tired of this phone call.

And nothing was wrong with my beans.

If anything, something wrong with you.

So take a lack of this, clear your ass out, and keep it the f moving, but you're gonna get off my god phone.

Okay, okay, okay.

They say they say Tommy has some problem with the beans too.

First of all, I don't even know no god Tommy.

I bar barely know your mom.

I just know her by face.

I don't even know her, know her.

So Tommy, f you.

I'm calling Mama Dean.

She ain't got no business giving my mother number to nobody.

This is Tommy.

What you what you what you want me to tell Tommy then?

I just told you I don't know anybody named Tommy.

So you can tell them whatever the f you want to tell them.

And if you're trying to gain other people who want to jump on your side, it's not gonna happen because nobody complains about the beans.

Give me name, give me another name, because Tommy wasn't there.

I know just about everybody that was there.

Wasn't nobody named Tommy there.

Okay, okay.

So you're gonna say nephew, Tommy, nephew Tommy, what now?

What?

Nephew Tommy.

This is nephew Tommy.

From the Steve Harvey Morning Show or Have a

Are you crazy?

Your cousin

got me the prank phone call.

I'm at work.

People walking by me looking at me.

I'm about to get written up out with you, Tommy.

Are you crazy?

And I know my beans are good.

I really go.

Oh man, you got me.

You got me wanting to taste your black eyed feed, baby.

Oh good.

Nobody could play.

I'm sitting here like I know you get these people fat.

You ain't gonna get no money.

Oh, but you know it, but you know it's Steve Harvey morning show.