Adoption Agency

But right now, the nephew is here with today's prank phone call.

What you got for a snap today?

Shirley, you know, you wake up some mornings and you just don't know how stupid you want to be.

You know you're gonna be stupid, but you don't know the level of where you're gonna take it.

So, um

I've been pondering my stupidity this morning and trying to figure out what level of it I want to do.

And I I think I landed here.

I have stupidity

levels, huh?

No, no.

Extremely stupid.

Yeah.

All the

soften it.

Come on.

Okay.

All right.

Y'all gonna put some spec on my stupid adoption agency.

Adoption agency.

Irritating.

Okay.

Put some speck on my stupid.

Let's go, Karen.

Hello.

Hello, I'm trying to reach Clarence.

Uh, yeah, this is he.

Clarence, how you doing, man?

This is Robert, Robert.

Uh, we were trying to get a schedule with you guys.

Maybe we can swing through and uh pick up little Clarence, I guess around six if you guys are available around six.

Uh, okay, what do you mean, picking up little Clarence?

Well, we got the um we got the call that we can come and actually pick up Clarence and and and take him with us.

Have you guys packed his things up yet?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute.

Got the call from who that you can come pick him up.

I don't know nothing about this.

Well, my name is Robert, Robert B.

And my wife and I got the call that we could do you not know about us uh um uh uh adopting Lou Clarence.

Oh, what the f adopting who?

Oh, okay, wait a minute.

Uh are you guys at are you guys at

the drive?

Uh yeah, that's that's my address.

But uh what you talking about?

You gonna come take my son from me, yeah?

Okay, but you you your son is two years old, right?

Yeah, he's two.

What they got to do with you come to pick up my son.

And what is this agency's number?

Uh well the the agency told us that what's the adoption agency.

They've got all our information.

We've we've filled out all the paperwork and you g you guys aren't aware that that we're supposed to come there today to pick him up?

Hell no.

What what adoption you said this was?

How to get my information.

I'm not sure.

We we've got uh pictures of Clarence and and uh you know, my wife has actually gone out and bought balloons and everything, and and and we were gonna come through.

They told us anytime today, so we felt maybe.

Like around 6 p.m.

we come get him.

Well, no, you ain't coming here to pick up no clearance.

I'll tell you that right now.

Okay.

Okay, wait, wait a minute.

Now this is this this I mean this can't be happening.

I I I Okay, wait a minute.

Oh, what's happening?

Yes, I am.

And you don't know anything about us to come over there to pick the baby up?

Hell no, I don't know nothing about this.

See, what's the name of this place again?

Uh

adoption agency.

Who gave you my information and how'd they get my information to come pick up my son?

I I don't know that, sir.

All I know is uh we've bought a car seat.

We're we're you know, my wife has bought balloons.

Man, I don't care y'all about a car seat, balloons, high chair, whatever.

You ain't come to get my son.

Okay, sir.

I'm I mean what what I'm not gonna do is is is tell my wife that we're not coming to get Clarence Jr.

today.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

You're gonna have to tell her that, because you ain't coming here to pick up my son.

Sir, from with with the paperwork that I have, Clarence is actually my son now.

Man, f you and your paperwork.

You ain't coming here to pick up my son.

Sir, Clarence Jr.

is mine.

I'm actually gonna change his name to Robert.

So I'm like hell you are.

Come on over here if you want to.

Come on over here.

I'm waiting for you.

I'm standing in the driveway right now.

Okay, well, wait a minute.

The adoption agency tell us that you guys are not doing well financial uh financially.

Are you working?

No, I ain't working.

But uh so in other words, you're not you're not able to to provide for him, from what I understand.

My son ain't miss no meal, he got clothes on his back, he got a roof over his head.

Man, I'm not you ain't coming here to pick up my son.

I don't care what I got to do, man.

I go out, cut grasses, I make money on the side, wash some cars and everything.

Okay, okay, but I'll come here and get my son.

But don't you think he deserves a better home?

I don't know what the what the screw up is.

I don't know, but I'm trying to at least rationalize with you so you can understand why me and my wife.

I'm right here in the driveway.

Come on over here.

Sir, I don't want to go back and forth, but I am me and my wife are coming to get Clarence today.

Okay, come on.

Come on.

I'm waiting for you.

I'm already through it about two or three times.

Come on.

I'll be waiting right here.

I guarantee you.

Sir, I don't want any altercations when I get there.

I just want Clarence to get in the car, and me and my wife are gonna take him to his new home.

When you get here, it's gonna be one hell of an altercation.

So you might wanna come to all whoever's gonna come with you.

Bring my adoption agent too so I can whoop that too.

You know what, man, if you was to be able to provide for your family, wouldn't nobody be trying to adopt your child.

The problem is that you can't take care of your family.

Now me and my wife coming over there and we coming to get Clarence Jr.

You ain't coming down here to get my child.

Man, you get down here, I'm gonna f you and your wife up.

How about that?

Wait a minute, wait well.

You finna do what to my wife?

Well, I don't hear women, but I'm gonna tell you right now, you and your wife gonna come down here.

I'm gonna hurt both of you.

Anybody come down here trying to take my child up out of my house, they're gonna go up.

I'm coming to get it.

I got to do what I got to do.

I'm gonna tell you right now, you ain't coming down here to get my son.

You, your wife, I'm telling you.

Nobody's gonna come here and take my hands.

No, I don't know how you got my address.

I don't care what the agency you got going through, or whatever going on, but I'm telling you right now, you come down here, I'm gonna all y'all up.

I'm not trying to disappoint my wife.

Now, she say we coming to get I don't give a few disappointment, whoever you want disappointment.

I don't give a about that right now.

But you ain't about to take my d son about the drive.

I'm gonna come and get him out there out.

I'd have told my wife I was coming to get.

Man, I'm telling, man, you better tell your wife.

You come in this driveway, I'm gonna be sitting right here waiting for him and I'm gonna every last one of y'all up.

Every last one.

I don't care who he brings.

You can bring the President Obama or I'm gonna f you.

You ain't finna do nothing.

You ain't finna do you ain't finna try to take my son out of your house.

I'm gonna tell you right now, everybody getting it.

I'm coming to get Clarence Jr.

You ain't got nothing to tell me or not.

Let me know.

I'm letting you know right now.

You better come here with the corner and everybody because I'm about to you up.

You gonna leave here with a b yeah?

Come on, we're gonna take my friend.

Let me tell you something.

Let me tell you something.

You get his clothes together so we can come and live a better life.

He's not living a good life there.

You get his clothes.

I'm told you about six, seven, eight times.

Bring your mother down here, and I'm gonna f you and everybody, whoever you bring down here up.

You trying to take my you know who else I'm bringing with me?

Because I'm bringing somebody up.

You you better bring Army.

Say what?

It better be a f army to come down here and get my son about this house.

I'm bringing nephew Tommy with me.

You ain't bring I'm bringing nephew Tommy from the Steve Armin Morty show with me.

Oh man.

You say this is Tommy, man.

This is nephew Tommy.

Man,

man.

I'm about to c up everybody out here.

Man, come down here taking my show.

Your brother named Benjamin got me to get you, dog.

Oh man, see that's how family gets fed up.

See, next time I see him, it's on.

Man, that was a good one now.

Oh man.

All right, Paul.

Tell me one more thing, man.

What's the baddest that I mean the baddest radio show in the land?

The Steam Paul the morning show.

You can look at it any way you want to.

That night that was straight stupid.

You can look at it any way you want to look at it.

Straight stupid.

And stupid is coming to Philadelphia.

Nephew Tommy and friends.

Laugh out loud, comedy show.

Two rate in the building.

Craig McLaren in the building.

And Lou Neil in the building.

We're gonna be doing it at the Kesswig, baby.

April the 29th.

Tickets on sale.

Red now.

Sound like Philly to me.

What you got, Shirley?

Okay, nephew, here's a voicemail from you.

This is from Angie from Kentucky.

Hello, Steve and family.

My name is Angie.

I'm from Louva, Kentucky.

And I just came back from bowling greens from seeing nephews.

Tommy, nephew, you are ignorant.

You had me and my family in stitches.

We was laughing so hard.

I just want you to know you are awesome.

We love you and keep up the good work.

Come to Louva.

Come to Lova.

We had to drive two hours to bowling green, but we can't love you.

Thank you.

Oh, and DM.

That was nice.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you, babe.

I acted a stone fool.

Headlining fool.

Oh, headliner fool that that night.

All right, nephew, thank you.

Coming up next, strawberry letter subject.

I love him, but dot dot dot.

We'll find out, see what that's all about right after this.

You're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show.