Funeral Picture Company

FPC funeral picture company.

Let's go catch up.

Hello?

Hello, I'm trying to reach a uh Darwin.

Darwin uh this is he.

Hey Darwin, how you doing?

This is Frank with uh FPC.

We're trying to come down and um see about uh uh making an appointment with you uh within the next week if that's possible.

Uh we're supposed to come by.

I'm with FPC.

We wanted to uh we have you on file.

What what what is that?

What is FPC?

Uh sir, your name was left with us and you're you're you're on um on our file to actually come out and make an appointment with you so we can um so we can get your picture taken.

Uh you must have the wrong note.

I'm not I'm not signed up to take no picture or anything, sir.

Okay, well you are you're Darwin, right?

Yes, yes, I am Darwin.

You call Darwin that's who you call it, but anything about a picture.

What what's up with a picture?

Uh we've got you on our schedule here, FPC.

We have you on our schedule to um to actually uh for us to come out to your home and take your picture.

Okay, FPC, which company is that?

What's what type of picture and what would I be taking?

I'm not taking no picture, but what what is FPC?

Okay, you don't know anything about a photo being taken of you?

Needing needed to be taken?

No.

Okay.

Uh sir.

FPC is uh we are this is a funeral picture company.

Uh who?

Funeral picture company.

And what we do is we come out and take your picture and we actually keep it on file.

That way when you do pass away, we have your picture for your program and we have a nice picture for you.

Oh man, look at I'm not dead right now.

You're not taking no picture of me, then who is this again?

My name is Frank.

Frank Oh, okay, Frank, you mean to tell me y'all taking pictures of people before they die, just so you could have their picture on file?

Well, we keep it on file and then you have a good picture on your program.

And that's what that's what uh that's what we do.

I ain't signed up for nothing like that.

Who the hell signed me up for some like that right now?

I'm not quite sure, but we're trying to schedule where we can come out uh beginning of next week so we can get your picture taken.

Next week, week after you get a picture when I'm dead.

You're not taking no picture of me before I die.

That that don't sound right.

Uh sir, don't you want to have a good picture on your program?

Sir, you're not taking no picture of me for no funeral arrangements that I'm not dead yet.

I don't understand that.

What the hell is this about?

Nobody who signed me up for it then.

Tell me that much.

Uh sir, I don't have the actual person listed here on who signed you up, but I do have the number and you are Darwin Mr.

Darwin, so I didn't sign up for And I'm not taking no d pictures.

Uh you guys run around taking pictures of people before they die just to have a good picture on family?

That sounds like some b man.

I d uh I ain't never heard of no s like that, sir.

Okay, sir.

Are you I mean we have your address here?

Are you uh are you available?

No, I'm not available.

I'm not available at all to take no d picture for a funeral.

That I'm not even dead yet.

I don't I don't get that.

That that sounds like a bunch of and I uh who the hell gave you my number?

That's what I want to know.

Sir, I'm not quite sure, but one thing we have to do is we have to follow through with our job.

So what we're gonna have to do is we I have to come out there and take a picture.

So I I uh I don't wanna, you know, create a problem, but I have to get a picture of you by next week.

Oh, it's gonna be a d problem because you're not getting no d picture of me for no funeral arrangement.

Mr.

Darwin, I have to come by your house at least by Friday at around twelve noon, I'll come by and get a picture of you.

You ain't coming by my god house no b Friday.

You the lie.

I'd be d come over here to try to get my picture.

I got plenty of god kitchen in my house to put on a mother funeral program.

I'm not taking no picture.

That means I'm claiming to be dead.

I'm not dead.

That's some old bad looking god.

I don't know who the f you work for, Frank.

But you you got this.

I work for FPC, sir.

I work for FPC.

I FCC, my you ain't not taking no picture of me.

Don't come over here Friday, talking about no god picture.

Okay, you got pistol, and you and I hope they got your god picture on file.

That's a stupid

company you work for.

I ain't never heard of nobody take no d picture before they die.

I got millions of pictures in here for that program.

And when I'm gone, what the f I care about what a picture look like?

Or who had my god funeral?

This will make no you tell whoever the f you work for, they need to go find another occupation.

That don't make no god.

You're not coming over here Friday, buddy.

You come over here if you want to.

Okay, but uh, Mr.

Darwin.

Yes.

Are you familiar with with uh Glenda?

That's my wife.

What what the f you about to say now?

I w all I want to do is say this, man.

I just want to say Glenda the one that got me the prank phone call you.

This is nephew Tommy, baby, from the Steve Harvey morning show.

Huh?

I'll be a

boy, yeah.

I ain't never heard of no business like this some FPC funeral picture chicken sh.

Well, man, I said my new year resolution.

I was gonna cut back on drinking, but you got me over here about to dip a bottle right now.

Oh you crazy, man.

Hey, come over here today about four and get a picture of Glenda.

You gonna pick up picture.

Y'all got me, baby.

You got me, baby.

I ain't never heard of no d company like that.

Hey, you won't put me up to it, man.

You go.

I tell you what, you tune in tomorrow morning, man.

You're gonna catch yourself on national radio.

I'm gonna tell everybody, boy, they had me hot over here.

I'm gonna don't tell Glenda, but I'm gonna have me a drink anyway.

I was looking for an excuse to drink.

That's right there, funeral picture taken.

They'll put on file.

Boy, yeah, yeah, lost a half of my head with that, buddy.

Hey, man, I gotta ask you something, man.

Darwin, tell me this here, man.

What's the baddest, and I mean the baddest radio show in the land?

Steve Harvin Morning Wake Up Show, buddy.

That's right.